I feel that the istmus of tehuantepec, this is where I live by the way, deserves its own entry. Now that I am back from d.f. and have some more perspective on the country, I am starting to make some strong conclusions about where I live. Keep in mind I have only lived here 8 months or so and thus this will be a total generalization and is not intended to be taken as “true” for anyone beyond me.

I live in the middle of nowhere. People at the bus station in d.f. who sold me my ticket asked me why I wanted to go to the istmus. Seriously. The ticket seller laughed, punched his buddy and told him I was going to ixtepec. After explaining where that was, the other guy just stared at me. Their sage advice consisted of telling me to turn around, find an apartment in the city and teach English privately. The money was better and my life would be more interesting.

I still don’t take every piece of advice offered me, but listening to them reminded me that almost everyone I have met who is not from the istmus, really hates the istmus. They refer to it in very negative ways and avoid it like the plague. Not even the teachers really like it here. The people are nothing great, again not that I know all of them, but the best ones I have met are from other places. Again, this is biased bc I don’t know that many people. The kids all want to leave but cannot bc the area is ridiculously poor. A friend who is from Georgia refers to the place as Alabama. The people talk differently, think differently, live differently and are relatively happy. Outsiders on the other hand, have some problems adjusting. And, most just avoid it altogether.

I wont come back to some, “ why am I here?” type of question. I know why. Also, I am relatively ok where I am for now. But, this is pretty much the motivation I need to get out of here come September. I am thinking of moving to the mountains in mexico and getting work there. Maybe puebla. Maybe one of the hundred other towns. Possibly, and this is slight, d.f. my time there changed my opinion of it. I no longer fear it. It is a city like other cities. Ok, it is bigger than most other cities in the world, but it is a city after all. the metro is amazing. Fast, easy, incredibly cheap(20 cents and you can ride around all day: you switch lines as much as you want and only pay again when you leave and re-enter. Beat that BART and DC Metro). I was never robbed. True, I spent most nights in a hotel room and did not venture to any dangerous places, but this reminds me that with some moderate thinking, most negative situations can be avoided. I have no doubt that if I actually lived there I would be mugged. That is kind of a given. But, if I lived there, I also would not be carrying all of my belongings around on my back. So the fear would be less.

d.f. is appealing bc the money I could make there is substantial. I would have to work a lot of contact hours each week (20-25) and travel from place to place, but in the end, it might be worth it. I have months to decide so I am not going to figure it out this week, but it is good to know that I have one more option. A place like d.f. is not the ideal, but there is so much to do and see there that it almost seems worth it for 6 months. Who knows.

Back to the istmus. This place is pretty bad. Now that I have been to 8 other states and the federal district (d.f., mexico city), I see this area for what it really is. The view is not that good. I don’t hate it here, but I don’t love it either. The lack of foreigners, meaning both people from other countries and people from other states, creates a closed off society that rejects change and thus creates younger generations that will most likely follow exactly as their predecessors have. Inbreeding, for lack of a better word, seems to be a term that fits well. Not in the literal sense but in the sense that the pool of characteristics is limited and thus the society does not have any outside influence and breeds from within. The kids marry young and people from around the block. They have kids young and the cycle repeats. No one really leaves (not true bc many people look for work in large cities or in the states, but then, they don’t come back. So the pool shrinks). Generations live in the same house; this applies to many families in mexico, but it is the rule here in the istmus. Tradition? Everywhere. Heritage? Coming out of their pours. Stagnant? Totally.

I wrote a paper about native American literature and culture a few years ago(ames, you will remember bc you listened to it in Georgia). One of my points was that when a group makes itself into an island and isolates itself from the rest of the world, bad things will often result. Stagnation, fear and disrespect from outsiders, etc. this worries me a bit about the istmus. The people seem to accept their status and way of life without really looking for anything better or improved and they simultaneously reject outsiders. They disrespect us for no reason. I am not going to go any further here bc I sound like a colonizer, but there are options out there for the people and they choose not to take them. then, these same people turn around and ridicule the “poor, dirty” immigrants from Guatemala that come in on the trains on their way to the usa. And yes, there are a lot of these people. Every day. But that is another topic.

On a positive note, I finished la Guerra del fin del mundo (I am guessing in English it is: the war of the end of the world; often the title in English is not a direct translation, which is why I am not sure) by Garcia Vargas Llosa a few weeks ago. It is the longest book I have read in Spanish, over 850 pages, and it took me almost 6 weeks to read. I still feel good about it though because I only read at nights and on weekends, and so I was not reading all the time. Pretexto(this is the Spanish word for “excuse”). I know. Anyway, the book is really great and I recommend it to any and all.

I am now reading el laberinto de soledad by Octavio Paz. It is a famous essay/book about mexico, its people, history, culture, etc. I did not like the book at first bc paz’s writing comes off arrogant. He lived in the states for a few years, went to high school there, so he writes like he “knows” the people and culture of the usa. This disturbs me. Then, he turns around and writes the same way about mexico. The book rips the usa and then mexico. He has some very interesting ideas and at the very least I am learning a lot about Mexican history and one version of why the people here are the way they are. All mexis are the sons and daughters of the malinche (she was the woman who slept with cortez, Spanish conquistador that first conquered large portions of mexico, including the island city that is now d.f.) which means they are all bastards, essentially. This leads to many psychological problems, according to the author, among numerous other issues. Another excellent book and I recommend it to all for the simple fact that the author offers a very entertaining version of events. in English I think it is called the labyrinth of solitude.

I should come back to the istmus and wrap this up. I don’t mean to make the place sound horrible (but it happens anyway. Hahaha. So funny I know). It is kind of sad bc this is the first time I have been away for a few days and felt a little bummed to be coming back. Normally I am good and ready to get back home and relax and plan my next trip. and in between I almost always enjoy my time here. There are lots of reason I am kind of down on the place. My best friend oscar is leaving in a month. He wants to get a second master’s degree, this one in history, so he is going back to puebla in may. I have tried to guilt him into staying(ok, not too much, but I don’t want him to leave) but it is best for him. Plus, he can be with his wife and child again. I know. How could he choose all that over hanging out with me in the middle of nowhere for a few more months? Some people are crazy, you don’t have to tell me. So I think this is kind of weighing on me a bit as well. I have other friends here, and this is going to be a good test to see if I can branch out and make new friends now that I have no choice. I have already begun that process and have laid the foundations with two other profs who I like. We will see if either pans out. Worst case, I only have 2.5 months left of school, and 4.5 on my contract. We have a two week vacation in july and I can always leave after that if I don’t want to wait for the contract to expire. I will wait and decide all that later.

For now I daydream about mountain towns where the temperature does not hover around 100degrees day and night. Day and night. Day and night….