i begin with a riddle, albeit a simple (not in the easy sense, but in the, ¨man, that was kind of dumb¨ sense) riddle, ´tis a riddle nonetheless. what has 46 legs, can survive surface-of-the-sun type temperatures and consumes candy at an alarming rate? well, if you guessed the collective body of my students, you win a prize. of course by prize i mean the fleeting feeling of superiority that can only be achieved by such mind-mazes. in other words, you win nothing tangible.

so i just finished grading my exams. disappointed would imply i had high expectations, and as the top of the webpage i am typing into reminds me, i must lower those. pride, in the end, really only gets in the way. so what happens when a large percentage of your students fail? you look to those two students, one from each class, that missed less than 2 points of 46 and 56 respectively, and thank their previous teachers. you also think to yourself: man, am i glad i have no real training for this! if so, i might think of myself as a failure. but not me. i look to silver linings, barrels of monkeys, carney rides and remember it is always darkest before the dawn (unless, of course, the moon rises at around 3am, which would make those few moments before the moon´s glow(or again, the reflection of the sun off the moon´s surface because doesn´t ¨glow¨ imply that the light comes from within the object, and we certainly cannot believe that there is any type of light source within the moon(this would mean that something put that light source there possibly or indeed, that after all there is a man in the moon)) crests over the horizon of the earth the darkest period of the night. although if you really wanted to get technical, all points after sunset are ¨before the dawn¨ so really this catchy little phrase makes no sense at all. right?) and my particular dawn comes later this summer when i catch the bus out of this hole. i have not exactly ¨given up¨because i am not sure i have anything to give up. the vast majority of my students see english as a requirement to graduate and nothing more. they could care less. the administration follows along with them, or rather sets the tone for this model behavior, so why get up in arms about it? so i dont. if this, teaching efl, were my life goal, ok, ya, time to get a grip.

let´s take hulia´s job for example at jetblue. a plane is late, or is missing its passengers, or does not have enough flight attendants, or just decides not to function that day, does jules freak out and go postal (my apologies to any of our brothers and sisters in the armed forces, i mean, postal service)? of course not. she goes and gets in her tricked-out ride and cruises down to the costco for a 1.50 dog and coke. or to the in-n-out. whatever. my point is that julia lets it roll. and why? because in the end she knows she has something bigger in life. that twinkle in her eye that so many have confused, and sometimes still do, or so i hear, for a slight attraction. the screensaver to her mental computer that switches on when the rest of the world quits messing with her for five minutes (i know, that one was pretty weak). that´s right, that future that no one, save a bum knee(and that ain´t a ¨someone¨ unless we are personifying body parts here), can take away from her: professional snowboarding. and once she can find a way to ditch those s.f. fools that are holding her down and get up to tahoe for a full six month season, she knows the rest of the world is on hold. a hazy (possibly prescrition drug-induced) dream where she goes to work and schedules planes and flights and yells at people if they aren´t ¨blue¨enough. that´s it. she saves lives and goes home to relax with her family and think about how much she misses keith and will- the only crackers that may have truly inspired her to dream big. ok. mainly just will. but keith is white and was there, so i threw him in.

and that is what i do. well, except for all that stuff about, you know, what she does (let´s also keep in mind julia has never actually told me her job role at jetblue so this was kind of what i think she does---yes that was a backhanded apology for using your life(although since i made it up i dont think that counts) as some sort of grand analogy, juan-gon). i let it slide. flunky students? hey, i am going to the beach! and the world turns.

my friend gave a listening exam yesterday to her kids. one of the answers(these are multiple-guess mind you) said that dolphins have ¨salt water blood.¨ 40% chose this answer. this is level 4. the second highest level. salt (sal). water (agua). blood (sangre).

so my students are failing. the important thing to ask is: but will, how are you doing? and the answer my friends? fine as wine. life is good. even ifyou are one of those 46 legged creatures. you can fail english and it does nothing to your gpa. that´s right. we are a class, but not really because the scores are not recorded. they have to attend, unless they dont want to. they must pass, unless they decide against it. it all evens out.

well, it´s april, so you know what that means? yup, time to take my worm pills again. yippee! and i have to take them in conjunction with my roomate (they recommend the household take them at the same time). stop and consider this for second. yes, that is why. fantastic.

but you have to love a part of the world where personal modesty has really gone out the window. vile-smelling toilets with an oil drum full of rain water and bucket parked outside as the only manner of flushing possible for the hundreds of patrons that will be swimming in the natural spring(this is assuming that these people chose not to use the spring as their toilet)? par for the course. ok. i wont go into detail any more on this point. take my word for it.

and on that note, enjoy your weekend!

z-moves has found this site? wow. i see you were somewhat caught for a lack of words; it is bc i am in central america and not europe. your blue-blood euro heritage blinds you to other parts of the world.

life is not the most exciting at the moment, somehow i think the heat slows everyone down in this part of the world. and if you knew the previous pace, well, anyway.

have you ever heard that beds are hot? people kept telling me that when i got here. sounds crazy, right. how can a bed be hot? well, they are. pillows too. i am learning all kinds of things. the humidity is a bit of a pain right now, mainly at night, when i cant sleep. i wake up every 30 minutes or so and have to roll over a few times to dry the sweat with the breeze of the nearby fan. thus, i now sleep in my hammock full time. at the very least i sleep sounder.

this will be the first vacation that i wont be leaving town. we have a long weekend this week. i cant remember what is being celebrated, but i will take the day off like everyone else. sadly, our vacation day is not until ... july. ya, so pretty stupid maybe not to take advantage of the long weekend, but i have been to most of the relatively close places that would be worth going to around here (with the exception of sumadero canyon in chiapas), but with the heat as it is, i think i will relax and go to the ojo de agua and do nothing. seems like a good plan.

i am looking at lots of other positions right now for the fall. i recently applied to work for a english teaching corporation in santiago, chile. the pay is about what i make here, not much, but it is enough to get by down there. i am also looking at other teaching positions in the mountains of mexico. puebla, for instance, where the heat never gets above 90 degrees because of the altitude- it is over 2100 meters. i love cold weather and have already have enough of this heat. sweet. three more months to go.

i am also looking into costa rica, which has relatively good pay. there are lots of mountains down there so i could probably find a job in a city with a decent climate.

if i do decide to go to chile, i am considering taking a bus all the way down to costa rica or panama and then catching a flight to santiago. i will definitely check out the prices to see if there is any kind of difference, but at the very least i could visit a few more countries on my way out of dodge.

nothing really funny to tell. the heat has sapped the humor out of most things. too bad. any fun stories from you guys?

this is my fave. the sky in the background is beautiful. these were taken around 8am this morning on campus. in between buildings. some other profs and students gave us funny looks, but who cares. this one makes all the jokes worth it 

it was funny bc he was giving us directions as he took the phots. i am mexico�s next top model 

this tree just bloomed the other day. all of the pics are from campus. the photographer is a prof but he is also a pro photographer as well 

these are of me and oscar chavez. he of course dressed up for the occasion. his traje (suit) is traditional dress for the region. he looks muy istme�o (this is what a person from the area is called- think virginian, or californian) 

during the intial sickness phase, i went to about five museums and cathedrals, including the palace of fine arts, municipal palace and national cathedral. the palace of fine arts was great, lots of murals from people like diego rivera (the most famous muralist from mexico), but a good bit was closed so it was not absolutely stellar. plus, this was the day i was starting to feel sick, so.... i went to the diego rivera museum, which was a bit disappointing in that his artwork is spread all over mexico city, the usa (detroit, new york, san fran) and europe. thus, the collection was paltry. again, sickness tainted this visit.

the national cathedral was impressive. the largest and oldest cathedral (begun around 1521) in latin america, it sits on top of the ruins of the once great empire that ruled the valley of mexico city before the spaniards arrived. after the 1985 quake, however, the lean in this building is amazing. standing in the zocalo (the giant square facing the cathedral, municipal palace, etc) the amount of shift away from perpendicular is highly visible. i have never been to italy, but imagine leaning tower of pisa and you might be close. actually, lots of incredibly old buildings were destroyed or severely damaged by the 85 quake and the effects have definitely altered the skyline of the city. it kind of adds something to the city though if you ask me. everything is off-kilter. kind of fits.

the municipal palace, the last sick day, was also impressive. these buildings are enormous, probably two large blocks long and at least 4 stories high. all built hundreds of years ago, they cast a shadow of the past over the street vendors selling, well, just about everything, who set up shop just outside of their doors. more murals by rivera, some more than 30 feet high and 50 feet long. the scale of his work might be the most impressive. that and the communist influence that is more than present in his work, it screams at you. from lenin to marx to the proletariat and workers being the focal point of each piece, his statement was clear. any wonder why his pieces were protested in mexico and actually removed or painted over in certain parts of the states (rockefeller center in ny and his ford commision in detroit was terminated as well).

also in the center of the historical district is the templo mayor. this is the ruin of the largest temple built by the mixecas in what is now mexico city. the area that is now city was once a lake with islands connected by bridges and roads. the ritual and political center, the major temple, was pretty much dismantled by cortez and his merry band of marauders so as to insure that the newly subjugated people realized that indeed their gods had abandoned them and so they should turn over all power, and gold, to the spanish immediately. it worked. the cathedral and municipal palace and zocalo are built on top of these ruins, but there is a small area where some of the first colonizers built mansions that survived. they only survived however, bc these savvy conquistadors, brothers actually, rebelled against the spanish crown. their punishment was to be hung and their mansion turned into a trash pit. hundreds of years later, still a desecrated site that once housed traitors, people realized that below the refuse there were relics and artifacts. long story short, once decadent palace became public dump became archaelogical site. the amazing thing is you can see six different layers of building stages. because there was so much flooding in the region over 600 years ago, you know, b4 the 25 million people moved in and all the water evaporated, they had to rebuild their temples every 70 years or so. instead of tearing down, they just built over what was there. impressive place to say the least.

ok, that is all for today. more tomorrow

I feel that the istmus of tehuantepec, this is where I live by the way, deserves its own entry. Now that I am back from d.f. and have some more perspective on the country, I am starting to make some strong conclusions about where I live. Keep in mind I have only lived here 8 months or so and thus this will be a total generalization and is not intended to be taken as “true” for anyone beyond me.

I live in the middle of nowhere. People at the bus station in d.f. who sold me my ticket asked me why I wanted to go to the istmus. Seriously. The ticket seller laughed, punched his buddy and told him I was going to ixtepec. After explaining where that was, the other guy just stared at me. Their sage advice consisted of telling me to turn around, find an apartment in the city and teach English privately. The money was better and my life would be more interesting.

I still don’t take every piece of advice offered me, but listening to them reminded me that almost everyone I have met who is not from the istmus, really hates the istmus. They refer to it in very negative ways and avoid it like the plague. Not even the teachers really like it here. The people are nothing great, again not that I know all of them, but the best ones I have met are from other places. Again, this is biased bc I don’t know that many people. The kids all want to leave but cannot bc the area is ridiculously poor. A friend who is from Georgia refers to the place as Alabama. The people talk differently, think differently, live differently and are relatively happy. Outsiders on the other hand, have some problems adjusting. And, most just avoid it altogether.

I wont come back to some, “ why am I here?” type of question. I know why. Also, I am relatively ok where I am for now. But, this is pretty much the motivation I need to get out of here come September. I am thinking of moving to the mountains in mexico and getting work there. Maybe puebla. Maybe one of the hundred other towns. Possibly, and this is slight, d.f. my time there changed my opinion of it. I no longer fear it. It is a city like other cities. Ok, it is bigger than most other cities in the world, but it is a city after all. the metro is amazing. Fast, easy, incredibly cheap(20 cents and you can ride around all day: you switch lines as much as you want and only pay again when you leave and re-enter. Beat that BART and DC Metro). I was never robbed. True, I spent most nights in a hotel room and did not venture to any dangerous places, but this reminds me that with some moderate thinking, most negative situations can be avoided. I have no doubt that if I actually lived there I would be mugged. That is kind of a given. But, if I lived there, I also would not be carrying all of my belongings around on my back. So the fear would be less.

d.f. is appealing bc the money I could make there is substantial. I would have to work a lot of contact hours each week (20-25) and travel from place to place, but in the end, it might be worth it. I have months to decide so I am not going to figure it out this week, but it is good to know that I have one more option. A place like d.f. is not the ideal, but there is so much to do and see there that it almost seems worth it for 6 months. Who knows.

Back to the istmus. This place is pretty bad. Now that I have been to 8 other states and the federal district (d.f., mexico city), I see this area for what it really is. The view is not that good. I don’t hate it here, but I don’t love it either. The lack of foreigners, meaning both people from other countries and people from other states, creates a closed off society that rejects change and thus creates younger generations that will most likely follow exactly as their predecessors have. Inbreeding, for lack of a better word, seems to be a term that fits well. Not in the literal sense but in the sense that the pool of characteristics is limited and thus the society does not have any outside influence and breeds from within. The kids marry young and people from around the block. They have kids young and the cycle repeats. No one really leaves (not true bc many people look for work in large cities or in the states, but then, they don’t come back. So the pool shrinks). Generations live in the same house; this applies to many families in mexico, but it is the rule here in the istmus. Tradition? Everywhere. Heritage? Coming out of their pours. Stagnant? Totally.

I wrote a paper about native American literature and culture a few years ago(ames, you will remember bc you listened to it in Georgia). One of my points was that when a group makes itself into an island and isolates itself from the rest of the world, bad things will often result. Stagnation, fear and disrespect from outsiders, etc. this worries me a bit about the istmus. The people seem to accept their status and way of life without really looking for anything better or improved and they simultaneously reject outsiders. They disrespect us for no reason. I am not going to go any further here bc I sound like a colonizer, but there are options out there for the people and they choose not to take them. then, these same people turn around and ridicule the “poor, dirty” immigrants from Guatemala that come in on the trains on their way to the usa. And yes, there are a lot of these people. Every day. But that is another topic.

On a positive note, I finished la Guerra del fin del mundo (I am guessing in English it is: the war of the end of the world; often the title in English is not a direct translation, which is why I am not sure) by Garcia Vargas Llosa a few weeks ago. It is the longest book I have read in Spanish, over 850 pages, and it took me almost 6 weeks to read. I still feel good about it though because I only read at nights and on weekends, and so I was not reading all the time. Pretexto(this is the Spanish word for “excuse”). I know. Anyway, the book is really great and I recommend it to any and all.

I am now reading el laberinto de soledad by Octavio Paz. It is a famous essay/book about mexico, its people, history, culture, etc. I did not like the book at first bc paz’s writing comes off arrogant. He lived in the states for a few years, went to high school there, so he writes like he “knows” the people and culture of the usa. This disturbs me. Then, he turns around and writes the same way about mexico. The book rips the usa and then mexico. He has some very interesting ideas and at the very least I am learning a lot about Mexican history and one version of why the people here are the way they are. All mexis are the sons and daughters of the malinche (she was the woman who slept with cortez, Spanish conquistador that first conquered large portions of mexico, including the island city that is now d.f.) which means they are all bastards, essentially. This leads to many psychological problems, according to the author, among numerous other issues. Another excellent book and I recommend it to all for the simple fact that the author offers a very entertaining version of events. in English I think it is called the labyrinth of solitude.

I should come back to the istmus and wrap this up. I don’t mean to make the place sound horrible (but it happens anyway. Hahaha. So funny I know). It is kind of sad bc this is the first time I have been away for a few days and felt a little bummed to be coming back. Normally I am good and ready to get back home and relax and plan my next trip. and in between I almost always enjoy my time here. There are lots of reason I am kind of down on the place. My best friend oscar is leaving in a month. He wants to get a second master’s degree, this one in history, so he is going back to puebla in may. I have tried to guilt him into staying(ok, not too much, but I don’t want him to leave) but it is best for him. Plus, he can be with his wife and child again. I know. How could he choose all that over hanging out with me in the middle of nowhere for a few more months? Some people are crazy, you don’t have to tell me. So I think this is kind of weighing on me a bit as well. I have other friends here, and this is going to be a good test to see if I can branch out and make new friends now that I have no choice. I have already begun that process and have laid the foundations with two other profs who I like. We will see if either pans out. Worst case, I only have 2.5 months left of school, and 4.5 on my contract. We have a two week vacation in july and I can always leave after that if I don’t want to wait for the contract to expire. I will wait and decide all that later.

For now I daydream about mountain towns where the temperature does not hover around 100degrees day and night. Day and night. Day and night….

master james felony, i presume? i see you are using an old style. i wonder where you learned it from.

i accept any and all who use the forma ¨usted¨ form with me and desde luego i can reciprocate; a touch of class. indeed, i am tercero clase, y davis tercerco tambien. ¿quien lo sabía? nadie de aquí, de eso estoy seguro, compita. ¿qué trampita en Midlothian, Virginia? ¿qué tramposidad? ¿qué transa por sus venas? ¿cómo te va la vida? tranquila tranquila. no manches, su español está mejorando ¿quien es tu maestra? ¿la guapa rubia que la conocí en agosto? va que va manito, está listo a venir o debería decir, regresar a la tierra de sus sueños por donde la cerveza siempre está bien fria y las playas y mar se esperan. venga pronto compadre. ¡por supollo será bienvenida!

vaya con jimmy

ok, so here is an entry i wrote about two weeks ago but never uploaded. kind of interesting at least.


I just reviewed the first thing I typed when I arrived in tehua-york, living in faculty housing, surviving the stifling heat and staring at a future that scared the hell out of me. Seven months in and I am still unsure of a lot of things.

Last night, Friday, I participated in an interesting political debate with three political philosophy profs. Clearly, I was out of my element as the vast majority of my knowledge of mexi politics comes from third and fourth grade picture books that are issued to all students in the state of oaxaca. No matter, I weighed in and held my own fairly well. Most fun was making wild exaggerations about my friends’ preferred presidential candidate: manuel lopez obrador(amlo for short, though I forget what the A stands for). I called him a populist, and said power would corrupt him like all the rest and nothing would change. There is a presidential election in july, and many have high hopes for amlo, who would be the first president elected from the liberal prd party. Until 2000 there had not really been free elections in mexico because the conservative pri party had been in control for 70 years. If someone else won the popular vote, ni modo(too bad) the pri candidate became president. Thus the façade of democracy was little more than a chunk of ice in ixtepec in april: it promptly melted away in the light of day.

Anyway, I like to harass my friends, this much has not changed about me no matter how thin I become, and sarcasm is something that many mexis just don’t get, so I was pissing one of them off pretty good. Ni modo. He finally figured out that I was joshing him, but not before explaining to me the positives of amlo and the negatives of the other candidates, which in the end was what I really wanted. But why just ask that kind of thing when there are so many more fun ways to do it? Exactly.

I vaguely remember Cuban b haranguing me about topic sentences and thesis statements(always underline them!) so I should go back to my original thought: I remain uncertain about my future. Down here. Up there. Not surprisingly, they do go together (like wheat thins and easy cheese. Mmm. Wheat thins and easy cheese.) I was researching online the other week regarding phd programs and I stumbled upon something called a DA doctor of arts that is less concentrated than a phd in English, slightly broader in that it includes theory, history, etc. it seemed really great. So I e-mailed my old advisor dr. m to get her thoughts. She told me that she would look into a bit but that it was definitely not her field, she is a comparativist, so she could not tell me too much. However, she did tell me that I really have to be ready to research one specific area and have lots of research ideas before I decide that the phd is the program for me. Maybe, after all this time and thinking about, and money and time spent applying last year, the phd is not something I even want. Indubitably, had I been accepted to, say, santa cruz, I would have gone and would probably be very happy there, but then I never would have come here. I never would have traveled and learned so much as I have these past 7 months. I wont fall into the cliché of there being reasons for everything, but reflecting on the future forces me to review the past. One year ago I was getting rejection letter after rejection letter and feeling down. Now, I can only be happy that I did not jump right into the phd. Is it what I really want? time will tell, but right now the answer is no.

I would be quite content teaching at a community college in Washington, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Colorado or California. When I come back, that is probably what I will do first, for at least a year, to make some money, pay off some of my student loans, adjust to life with hot water, etc. the money is decent and I can then get my applications in order, etc. all this is assuming I can actually get one of these jobs and I come back with the same agenda I have this week. Doubtful.

it seems like my whole life has been about applying. taking the ssat’s and applying to woodberry in 8th grade, psat’s, sat’s sat II’s and colleges in 5th and 6th form, gre and grad schools in 2002-3, gre and gre lit and more apps in 2004-5, then all those job applications over the years, and now applying for visas and future employment. I am not complaining, these all mean I continue to create new opportunity for myself, but this is merely a commentary on life in general.

In mexico, these things are minimized. In truth, life is much simpler here. Don’t confuse simplicity with felicity, but in general there is less stress down here. Maybe it is just too hot to get all worked up about things. Maybe we in the states are doing something wrong. There is no shortage of commentary down here about the usa, mainly negative, yet there is also no shortage of immigrants trying to get in either. What does it say about me that I was trying to get out? I certainly did not appreciate the life I had. I wont make that mistake again. As simple as things are here, life in the states is infinitely easier. So many things to take for granted, so little time.

So have I learned the big lesson that I needed to learn? Am I ready to come back and appreciate everything in a new light? It would seem that way, wouldn’t it? If that were my goal, I would have been ready to return in September; indeed all is not so simple. But you knew that.

I have been looking into chile recently. I like what I have found. Great climate, mountains, ocean, the people speak Spanish, although the difference will probably been stark, and it is the wealthiest country in south America. A plus. But when will I arrive? This is the question. I like mexico. I don’t love mexico, but maybe that is bc I live in the armpit of mexico. Not many people love it here in the istmus. Dry, hot, poor, hot, dusty, windy, hot. It is around 95 as I type this, and it is 730 at night. I look forward to living somewhere else, and I think I will be somewhere else come September, I just don’t know where. Another part of mexico? Tempting.

A quick myth I would like to debunk. You do not get used to this kind of heat. The sun burns. Seriously. Standing under the sun for a few seconds, you feel it. Your skin tingles first then sends a message to your brain to get the hell out of there and find shade. You never really stop sweating, even in the shade, even in a hammock with the fan inches from you, but eventually you accept this. After all, it cannot be helped. Air conditioners are great, but they are an evil tease. On campus the computer labs are climate controlled. So once a week I have the luxury of class at a reasonable temperature. But then the two hours are over and I walk back outside and realize, yes, the students are right. El peor viene. The worst is coming. They know it. They don’t like it either. But around and around we all go.

So ya, where am I going to live next? What country? How long will I stay there? What will life be like there? When will I return to the states? Good questions. I have zero answers to them. rather than feeling anxiety about all of this, I have chosen to accept the uncertainty of it all. Because in the end, the answers are there. I just have to choose. So really, you could say, I know the answers to all of them, in some fundamental, elemental way, and I choose to leave them unanswered because it gives me something to think about when I sit on the bus to school. Not in the sense of a lawyer who usually only asks questions he or she knows the answer to, but something less concrete. Anyway.

When I swam in boarding school, at least for the last two years, every day I dove in the pool to start the warm-up set, I told myself I was going to get out when I finished the 50(two laps), flip off the coach and never put myself through that agony again. Swimming is, in my opinion, probably the most difficult sport for multiple reasons, however, the key is that you cannot breathe whenever you want. in fact, the less you breathe, the faster you go(except for breaststroke). Not breathing hurts. A lot. There is no good equivalent I can give you here; try holding your breath for 1 minute. Ok. Now try doing an exercise that uses your legs and arms simultaneously and hold your breath for 30 seconds. More difficult.

Ultimately, I never quit swimming in high school. I wanted to every day. Every single time I jumped in the pool my first thoughts were why the hell am I doing this to myself. It was a choice. I could have played basketball, been in a play, there were lots of other options. Why didn’t I?

I don’t wake up everyday and wish to be back in the states, far from it. I would also be lying if I said I don’t miss the states sometimes though. Friends, the ease of communication, everything readily available, a vehicle, chicken wings, the six months of new Yorkers that are, hopefully (if doughman did not toss them) waiting on me, there are so many things. The list goes on. The money is much better in the states as well. Clearly. So why don’t I come home in august?

I wont be coming home in august. That is fairly clear to me at least. There is going to come a time in the future when I realize that it is time to return. When I have figured out what it is I have been looking for. In the end, if I cannot explain this . . . is it still called a “trip” if you live somewhere and work there as well? Ok, if I cannot explain this period of ex-patriotism to, bare minimum here, myself, then I am wasting my time. Luckily, I lowered my standards along with my expectations long ago, so I shant require too much in the way of explication. I am not waiting on the day I realize it is time to come home (a very loaded word that I have trouble defining), but it is in the back of my mind. Mainly because I am living on fixed 6month contracts. That is a lie. Mainly because I have serious debt. I think if I were debt-free, I may consider taking up residence somewhere outside of the usa. That is a thought for the future. Maybe I can get a job teaching in Australia. Oooh. I really want to go to Australia. Actually, I cannot think of place I would not like to visit. Everywhere sounds good. Antartica, finland, asia in general, all of Africa.

I think I may look into the cruise ship idea I had a few months ago. I could be some sort of resident lecturer and give talks on the literature of the area where the boat is going. I remember reading a book that included a character who did something like this. Hopefully the job was not a part of the fictional story line. Probably was, though. If any of you have a lot of money, or come into large sums of money in the future, start a cruise line and hire me as a lecturer. Or start a touring company and hire me for that. Maybe the sixth month contract does weigh on me. I seem constantly to be looking for jobs. This would also help explain my frustration with applications. Writing as therapy. Gotta love it.

My friend down here just took the foreign service test. She wants to work for the usa abroad. I am going to look into this job bc it seems great. The best part is that you normally only live somewhere for a maximum of 3 years and then you move. That is perfect for me. I could see the world and get paid. I would also extend my streak of government paid jobs. Since I left college I have only worked for non-profit organizations(excluding dad and Anthony here). Not something I consciously think about when looking for work, but it is what it is. Anyway, hopefully my friend will get a job and then can tell me all about it and then if I like it she can help me get a job too. As you can tell, I am writing this paragraph two weeks after I began this original entry(I was re-reading and thought I should add this paragraph) so my future plans have changed yet again. Surprised?

Well I drifted again, but that was bound to happen. I think we learned a lot today, about, uh… me- tell’em about your glass eye, mike! (once again I love the state, what a funny show).

What does it say about me that I like moving somewhere new every year or two or three? Fear of commitment? I think that is cliché at this point and should be stricken from discussions of guys. True or not, I want something better. Nay, I demand something better. Ok. I really just wanted to type nay. Not often you get to use that word. Nay, less than not often, rare. Thrice times. But the truth is I move a lot. All the time. I realized the other day that since I went to boarding school when I was 13, and I am now 27, I have lived over half my life away from home (not true as I taught high school in the o.c. and rented the cottage on the farm for almost a year- how funny is that? Rented the cottage, and paid rent to live in the big house! Hi-larious. Big house was what lynne clements used to call the brick house on the farm. She joked with me when I was teaching in o.c. about going to the big house and asking for food, clothing, etc. I guess you had to be there). Kind of wild. Maybe that is why I am so ready to go somewhere different. I have been doing this for 14 years more or less. 7 months at boarding school, 5 months at home for four years. Four years of college with one summer at home. 2 months working construction and then 7 months teaching all while living on the farm. Two years in cali. Two years in flag. 7 months in feliztepec. The best part is I would trade none of them. I loved everywhere, especially cali and az, and though I would move back to either of those two in a heartbeat, I probably never will.

What else? My compy is still slightly jacked but it is usable. The problem is easily fixable if I had a soldering (no idea how to spell that word) gun. But I don’t so I am waiting on a student to bring one in and fix my compy. They are pretty much computer engineers after all, this should be relatively easy.

My hair has grown too long for gel. I tried using it the other day and felt weird. Well, my hair isn’t too long, considering some of the do’s the kids and adults around here sport, but I ain’t going that route. So I am getting a trimmy trim sometime soon. Still don’t like going to the barber. This will be my first trip alone. It will be interesting to see what happens, I will keep you posted. I mean, it should be fairly routine, but then again, things that outwardly appear simple tend to get a little complicated when I am involved. I have the basic vocab of hair cuts and such down, but you never know. Worst case I will borrow my friends clippers and shave my head.

Honestly, I have been contemplating this for a good while now. I mean, why not? I have no one to impress and people are going to continue staring at me everywhere I go whether I have hair or not. Ya, this has not slacked off at all. I was talking with a woman on the bus a few weeks ago and I told her it sometimes bothers me a bit how people stare at me (I swear the conversation did not start like this and there was a smooth transition through which this came up. I don’t just bitch at people on the bus about my problems. I mean, come on, that is what the blog is for, right?). she looked at me with surprise and reminded me of the obvious: I am taller than most people, my skin is completely different from theirs, my eyes are a color they have probably never seen outside of television and this part of mexico is very rural so anything out of the ordinary attracts attention. Cool. Fine. Still don’t like the staring. I try not to pay attention to it, but, sometimes I just feel like stopping in front of the person, adult or child, and giving them a good long look. I wonder how long it would take them before they stopped staring. Would they eventually get bored of looking at me and go back to whatever it was they were doing or would I be the first to move? Any bets?

I listen to cheesy Spanish and Mexican rock/pop now. The transition has been rocky but as it helps me understand everyday language better, it is algood. Synthesizers. Reminds me of 80’s music in a lot of ways. Or pop in general, but I just stopped listening to it so I forgot how heavily special sounds effects are relied upon by those artists. I must say it is quite funny listening to spain-spanish. They have an extremely different pronunciation of these key letters: s, c, z. they make them sound kind of like “th”, which really starts to mess with your head after a while because it is quite strange to hear these letters pronounced this way. Plus it just sounds strange, although they say the exact same thing about the Spanish spoken on this side of the world too. I don’t see myself in spain anytime soon so I am algood on that front.

I have not read many comments recently, and I am not sure if this means that everyone is on spring break or that the blog is screwing up. If spring break, giddey-up. If he blog is messed up, boo. Well, type a response when you get the chance. I really do like reading your comments.

I am super jealous of timmay. Ween. It has been almost six years since I saw them. too long. But good to know they are still doing shows. I listened to their 12 golden country greats album today. Classic.

Peaches- what can I say? I fear that your identity is much simpler than I am making all this, yet it eludes me. No matter. another clue if you please.

Take it easy y’all. if you eat meat, eat a chicken wing for me. If not, get crazy with the easy cheese. And don’t bother telling me it is not real cheese. I care not. Me importa un bledo. (I don’t give a)

chicky-sandwich (baguette was the title if you believe that one) that gave you a stomach virus: $5.50

realizing that the bathroom floor you are sitting on is new and so is the toilet you are currently hugging: $19.50

an extra day of movies in english and spanish subtitles: $19.50

having a bathroom door that is really a mirror which allows you to see said movies while you rest your cheek on your crossed arms over the receptacle that normally you would never put your head this close to(never mind that you are in a third world country): priceless

i splurged my first night in d.f. and paid for a room i normally would onlyhave scoffed at. i know. 19 bucks aint gonna break anybody back home, but for me, it is shelling out big bucks. needless to say, it paid off nicely.

feeling better. much better. three days of museums and ruins has thoroughly worn me out. lots of stories to tell. not many pics as my cam only has room for 15 and as the display is broken, well, i cannot exactly go back and erase one or two i wished i had not taken. so, this will be more of a verbally descriptive jaunt through the mexican highlands than a visual journal. thousand words, whatever. kiss it.

but not today. today is saturday and i am leaving mexico city, d.f., tonight. in-tact. more or less.

hope you all had a great week. this trip will be a long time in explaining, so bear with me.

cuban b, on the other hand, i do have a word for you. while i was writhing in pain, i thought of guatemala and what i would be doing there. i thought of volcanoes and ancient cities. i thought of the likelihood of me getting a stomach virus down there. blame is such a vague word that i should not throw it around. connections, as you so slyly put it, were made. however, they are rather ridiculous. no matter how convoluted my brain functions are, and believe, me, they are convoluted, i could not make anything stick. just as well. i had a great time in spite of it all and i may now like to come back. any takers on a vacation in d.f.? lots to see that i have not done. think about it.

well, i am off to have a beer. i deserve it at this point. also, i am meeting another prof who is on the way back to school so there is a celebration of sorts.

hey all. hope you are doing well. i took brian´s advice and am now in d.f., the capital of mexico, mexico city.

i would have written earlier, but i ran into a problem. i spent the weekend in oaxaca city adn spent all day monday on the bus. when i arrived it was about dark here in d.f. and as i know nothing of this city of over 25million people, i found a hotel and stayed in for the evening.

i woke up the next morning and went to the palace of fine arts, a truly exquisite museum with all sorts of artwork. i took a walk in a nearby park and visited two other museums. all the while, i felt a little sick to my stomach. i decided i should eat something so i went to a chain restaurant down here (i felt sick so eating at a street vendor seemed unwise). after eating i felt worse so i booked it back to the hotel.

24hrs later i feel confident enough to leave the hotel room again. i spent all day being sick yesterday. i wont give you the gruesome details but i had food poisoning, so being more than 5 feet away from the bathroom scared me.

i feel slightly better today. i went to a few museums this morning and now am writing bc i dont know if i will need to head back to the room and once again lock myself in for the next 24hrs. i hope not.

the city is great. i will give all the details next week or so. sorry to be so short, but if you have ever felt like this you know that it is best to keep moving and with a safe bathroom within five blocks!

well, i have a slight dilemma. i am now unsure whether i should go to guatemala or not over break. some friends are going to d.f. (mexico city) and have invited me to come. but then they are leaving after a few days and going to travel somewhere else, which would leave me by myself in d.f. for two days b4 more friends arrive. the advantages are that this week, semana santa(saint´s week), is the one week of the year when most of the people who live in d.f. leave d.f. they go to the beach and so literally, with a few million people missing from the town(out of about 22million documented souls), this leaves quite a large gap and the room is something i would covet. you see, d.f. is choked with people, traffic is absolutely ridiculous- leaving the subway as the best means of travel as the buses cannot move, and this is filled with thieves. hence, with so many people out of town, this is the ideal time of year to visit. the musuems wont have lines quite as long and in general it should be somewhat more tranquil.

but then there is guatemala. i would be going alone, not a huge deal as i have already found youth hostels online where i can stay and which have all sorts of info, guide books, etc. there are some great volcanoes, i would like to hike one, and beautiful mountain towns and lakes. this seems better than going to some big city, BUT, d.f. is home to incredible museums and aztec ruins (which are different from ruins i have visited which are mainly mayan influenced).

so, this is my dilemma. in either case, i am going to have a great time, so the decision is only difficult in that i have to decide what kind of vacation i want. bright lights big ciy? no electricity virtual village? this is where i am today. leaning toward the latter but not ruling out the former. decisions decisions.

any thoughts?