time flies. hard to believe it has been over a month since i wrote here last.
funny stories, let me think. the problem is that there are many many events i find hilarious, but they have to be pg13 for this blog. if you thought i talked a lot before i left (and i know you all think this), be prepared to listen to stories for days when i return.

so i was at the supermarket yesterday (wal-mart essentially) and was in line with my groceries (raisin bran, juice, milk, habañero peppers, turkey, cheese, apples, avacado- it was a light day because i have been sick and am just getting my taste back). there is a promotion at this store that when you spend 100 pesos (10 bucks) you get a coupon that discounts a future purchase. this month the promotion is towells. ya. not into that.

anyway, a woman and her daugter are in front of me (both wearing large, obnoxious chanel sunglasses that cover their entire faces) and the mother looks me up and down (this is still normal- not only am i dead sexy, but foreign) and then makes her move.

¨do you collect the coupons?¨ she asks.

her daughter´s face goes red and ¨maamaaaaa¨ escapes her lips as she flips through soap opera digest (all names are changed to reflect what you would see in the states) and attempts to put some distance between herself and her mother.

¨why do you always get so embarassed, it is an honest question, and besides, he doesn´t mind. do you, sir?¨ is mamá ´s reply to daughter.

¨of course i do not mind you asking, and sure, the coupons are yours¨

the mother continues conversation with me, explaining her daughter, standing there the whole time, is always shy and embarassed in public when with her. but she, the mother, never understands why. the look on daughter´s face through all of this is priceless- she turns from red to crimson rather quickly and once the line in front dissipates, makes a b-line to the ice cream stand 25 yards away.

just before i pay, she turns to ask me if i am from the states. i smile and respond that yes i am. she says she has always liked gringos, even though so many think negatively of us. very magnanimous of her.

as my items go through, scrutinized by the mother of course, she remarks to the clerk that i should get ¨double points¨ for certain items(clearly she picked me out because she had scanned my basket and knew i would get more coupons based on what i was buying). a brief argument ensues while the clerk says i need to use a certain bank card to get double points. the mother then looks at me, my card (not the one that earns double points) and asks me if i have another.

no shit. she actually tried to get me to pay with another card to get her an extra coupon. well, after that, i expected something more (i paid with my original choice despite the pain it caused her to only earn one coupon instead of two).

she waited for me to collect my bags and noticed, she was on it, that i did not get my parking stub validated. was my car at home? after informing her i did not have a car in mexico (she was rather deflated), she offered me a ride. her daughter, who had returned, was about to explode. and i could tell she wanted me to say no.

so, of course, i accepted the ride.

unfortunately, the daughter was rather young, although mother tried to push her off on me in the car ride, so there will be no dates in the future. i assured her my future coupons were hers and offered my services of private lessons, which may or may not work out.

in the end, an eventful shopping experience. sometimes being foreign is lots of fun. i do not tell the worst stories, the ones where being foreign sucks, for obvious reasons.

i have almost cleared my second sickness in one month (my first was a stomach virus and i ended up halucinating at one point during the fever´s high point, the second was a cold) and hope this fills my quota for at least 4 more months. the stomach illness was vile, so i wont go into details, but it is worth noting that i get sick from eating at restaurants with running water and not stands on the street (i often eat at those places and am fine after). not sure what lesson i should learn from this.

i am excited about my class this summer. i am teaching a science fiction literature class. plus, there are only five students and they are all guys. if i never mentioned this before i must say that teaching only boys is the best situation. true, they can be assholes and little shits, but so can i. in the end, i know what to expect from guys. girls? crying? no way. boys are predictable. i know what they expect and their tricks to get what they want. would i teach at an all boys school? hell yes. teach at an all-girls school? no and never.

anyway, the class should be cool, even though it is two hours long, five days a week. i hope we have interesting conversations (today´s was great- we discussed acceptance, beauty standards ad how they have changed, plastic surgery, etc- we are reading ¨frankenstein¨ so it is all relevant. talking about these things with just guys is very relaxing).

i will do more writing this summer (my recent one entry a month is not exactly a high standard). hope all is well up there and you are having a good start to your summer. the weather here is perfect. 80´s during the day and high 50´s at night with consistent afternoon storms and showers. ok, if you wanted weather, you could check that yourselves.

i am sad to see duke lacrosse lost in the finals on monday. i never liked john´s hopkins. but, i am glad the guys are getting back to normal (to a very small extent) after all that they have gone through in the last year. i hope events like that dont happen more frequently now.

now that the suns and red wings have lost, again, i am done with both the nba and hockey. damn if the braves didnt start well only to choke over the last week. oh well.

in other news i combed my hair for the first time in two years today. strange. i have not had a haircut since december and my hair is finally getting long (relative) again. no camera so the pictures will come when they do, but i thought i would add that. two years. pretty amazing how short hair eliminates the need for hair grooming. or i am just a slob (probably the latter).

let me know if there is anything specific you want to hear about (new abortion law that has the pope seriously pissed off with mexico, teachers not teaching-strikes, etc.).

take it easy y´all