rather amazing now that i think about it: i have completed two years in mexico. when i arrived two years ago, things were very different in my life. i imagined spending maybe one year here and then moving on to another country. strange that now i am very happy where i am and in the school (what an incredible difference there is where i live and work now compared to my first year) where i teach and that i am considering being here for a few more years, possibly 3 or more (depending on a phd program here).

two years ago i never would have considered teaching high school again. now, i love the school where i work and actually enjoy teaching high school students. most of this is due to the high academic standards the school has and that most of my students are motivated to learn, but overall i cannot believe i enjoy teaching people this age. strange.

i celebrated my two year anniversary by going to the pharmacy and buying cold medicine and then coming home and going to bed at 9pm because once again i have gotten sick. i would like to blame the 2500 students at the high school where i work for this. things might be different if i worked in an office with only 30 other people. oh well. tough shit. i made my bed.

last night i proctored a toefl exam and i am back again this morning doing the same. sometimes i get frustrated working so much, but knowing i have a lot of debt from grad school to pay off helps motivate me. plus, while giving the exam i can do other things like grade exams and quizzes, plan lessons and write on this bloggy.

i have no idea who reads this thing anymore. i am guessing the cuban b is still around because one of the comments, though nameless, sounded like him referring to bikes and brews. if you are still out there, cheers cuban b. hope your second year in the phd program at iowa goes well for you. jimza is still around also. and my sisters and pops.

this might now be a blog for 6 people. oh well. not like i add very much to it with any frequency anymore. i might compare this to a relationship. in the beginning, when you are still getting to know each other, you want to spend all your time with the other person. find out as much about them as you can and think that there is never enough time in the day or night to fit it all in. just being together for ten minutes (writing 2 sentences in this case) is enough and yet painful in that you know it is not enough.

as the weeks turn into months and then a year or more, you start to slow down. instead of looking to do everything together, you just do it that way. there is no more excitement and you let down your defenses (rambling, boring posts that say nothing but are there to show that i am still here and have some allegiance to the blog) to an extent. but mainly you become more judgmental and find yourself more rude than anything else with the other. you find excuses not hang out (i am too busy to write, i have a life now, etc.), but in those moments when you are doing nothing or waiting for the next thing to begin, you realize that it was all pretext and that the free exists but the inclination does not.

yet we continue in this manner. waiting for the other person to give up (blogger to fail) becomes the new pass time. droll, mundane, time actually seems to slow down because there is no more anticipation and nothing ¨new¨ to come of anything.

or maybe it is just me.

i have never held a job for more than 21 months consecutively. of course i have a long way to go before i break that record, but these are strange things about me. i have now lived in my apartment here in mexico city for almost 12 months. the last time i lived in one apt for 12 months was when i lived with my girlfriend in san francisco. before that was in blacksburg 3 years earlier. is everyone else like this? i have an idea what this says about me but i choose to see the positive side: i like change and avoid the routine for any extended period of time. i will be 29 soon; am i getting too old to be like this? if so, i guess it is too damn bad because i dont see these traits disappearing overnight.

those are my thoughts on this sunny morning here in one of the biggest cities of the world resting in a valley at over 8000ft. i wonder if my 3 year anniversary will show me that i have found a routine. will i be in the same city at the same school? will i be in a phd program? will i be in another country?

i love that these questions will not be answered until i am ready to answer them. there is no predetermined timetable. the plane leaves when i want it to. or i just find another one.