interesting thing about the world in general that the usa does not really share. sporting events, major events, take place every few years. world cup: 4 years in between. copa america: 3 years. america´s cup (sailing): ni (no idea, but it is not every year).

my point is that the rest of the world seems to have more patience than we do in the states. super bowl: every 12 months. every major sporting event has championships every year. ok, mexican soccer has 2 champions a year, but that is off the point.

perhaps this is why when i go to take a shower at 7am and there is no water, no one else seems overly concerned. i roll into work looking dishevelled and rather rough, but then again, it is summer. i really cannot describe to you, have you never experienced it, the feeling of having shampoo in your hair, soap under your arms and no way to rinse it away. just getting your eyes open at that point aint so simple. you must find the towel, and if you are like me and shower immediately after waking, you really are not quite awake yet, so that damn towel could be anywhere and the longer you take to find it the more searing pain you feel as the soap works to clean two objects that were never meant to be cleaned with soap. i am talking about the eyes here people. sensitive.

if you are up for something different, i have an idea for those of you who live with others. roommmates, wife and children (jam dougherty i am looking at you on this one, of course i do no believe you have not sired a youngun´ somewhere along the line), if you are in mexico, mother, father, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, grandparent, cousin, etc. all of these would work.

step 1. reconnoiter your property (i count rental property as your own as long as you occupy it). get to know things like the electrical box, plumbing pipes and, while you are at it, learn how to turn the hot water heater on and off. these are good basic things to know. they have nothing to do with our experiment, but consider step 1 the precursor; you cant take calculus without algebra can you? can you? this is a question people.

step 2. now that you are familiar with pipes and such, you probably know that you can shut those pipes and restrict, nay stop, the flow of water coming from said pipes.

step 3. yes, you know where this is going, but continue with the steps. it is about the process. the journey not the destination. the path not the... whatever, you get it.

step 3. (the last step was not really a step) wait until someone gets in the shower and turn off all televisions and radios. wait maybe 3 minutes. if possible, talk to the person in the shower and find out where they are in the cleaning process (shampoo, conditioner-if they use it- soap, shaving, etc.). ideally, you want shampoo in the hair and soap on the body. this may or not be possible, but you know, we all gotta have goals in life.

step 4. find that shutoff valve and close it. slowly. you want to do this slowly because you want the person in the shower to hope the water will come back. if you are really cunning and creative (notice i am not using words like ¨cruel¨ ¨evil¨ ¨ruthless¨ ¨heartless¨ or any of these pejoratives you might be considering) then you will shut off the water only partway, then turn it back on. if you have you turned off all electic appliances (and sent any children outside), you may hear sound wonderful sounds of anger and disbelief coming from the bathroom. this will be the person in the shower coming to terms with the unexpected. do not shy away from this. embrace it as a fruit of your labor.

step 5. once shut off, run, do not walk, to the bathroom (with a camera if possible).

step 6. enter noisily. dont try to hide anything. let the profanity be your guide here. snap your pictures (digital, film and mental) and laugh and laugh and laugh.

step 7. depending on the stage of undress, send me the pictures. or, better yet, start a blog and post them on the internet.

step 8. never tell the other person how to turn the water off. you may have to lie at this point. stand firm. you are morally right on this (say that if necessary and then tell the person, if they dare question how you are ¨morally right¨ that even asking that question of you means they have much to learn. drop them a copy of aristotle´s ¨nichomachean ethics¨ or even ¨crito¨written by plato. they will never read it, so you are totally safe and, of course, morally superior. if they do read it, well, send me an email and we can discuss your options and i will send you some other authors to peruse, namely nietzsche, who will fill you with a sense of superiority no matter what).

feel free to thank me later for this idea. onwards and upwards.