i have only two small shorts for today, but i believe both to be entertaining. ok, three, because i just heard a new library story.

i will start with the library bc it is the most exciting. so the other two eng profs just realized that their books were super overdue. i am talking like five days, if you include the weekends, which is stupid as the campus is closed, but anyway the library is a freak zone, so whatever. so they ask me if i want to go with them to renew. of course i said no. i mean really, who wants to share in that kind of thing.

so the boy at the desk takes the books behind the glass and then announces that their privileges have been suspended for one week. one week without textbooks. but, he informs them, they can have them back on the 14th. vacation starts onthe 16th. so arash, who knows the most spanish as he has lived in mex for a year, gets upset. he tells the boy it is ridiculous. he then turns to one of his students who is standing in the lobby, probably shaking in fear of the mass of evil that lives behind the refrigerator door, and informs him that class will be canceled for one week because the library has a ludicrous policy. sweet action!

the boy behind the glass gets nervous. insists he is only doing his job and finally goes for the head lady at arash´s insistence. she floats over and tells arash and sally that she will make an exception for them this time. somehow, the sleeping giant, formerly known as rashy-rash, awakens. he informs her that this is not good enough. he explains the stupidity of having to return every two weeks to check out books. they have about 20 books out, and the attendant checks each page for marks, so you can imagine how long this takes. he tells her he has better things to do with his time than wait 30 minutes every 14 days. he does not abuse the books, he confirms, and thus the policy should be ammended.

take a breath with me here. this is not the arash i know. quiet, unassuming even. as he is telling me this story i look to sally to see if she will finally set the world right and deny the whole thing. tell me it is a joke and that they really have been suspended for two weeks. this is not unheard of by the way. prof´s get suspended fairly frequently. i am ready to express my unflagging and full support for the cause. no more english class! screw the library! we demand better treatment. i see the smile creep across sally´s face and i know the farce is ready to come to an end. the truth will be heard.

and so arash finishes. silence. utter disbelief. wow. that is all i can manage to say. i look at both of them expecting one to burst out laughing. but no. their books have been renewed for the rest of the semester.

now the other stories dont seem quite so fun.

a trashy story-
where does the trash go? some people have large dumpsters, so have to take it to the curb, so compost and recycle. down here, i know where it ends up. in a big huge pile that never stops smoldering just outside of town. like the springfield tire-fire, but with more wild animals, and sadly, domesticated ones like horses and cows (get why i dont eat much meat down here?). they just rummage through the pile along with the people looking for, you know, treasures in the trashpile (i stole that from ween, it is, sadly, not mine).

so for the past three weeks me and pac have just opened our gate on the second floor, slung the little grocery bags of trash across the way to the other side of the outdoor patio, washroom, clothes hanging place, community area and been done with it.

and then the pile began to grow. i assumed someone would come for it. you know, take out the trash or whatever. ole victor had a boy who, oh wait, that is another story. no, really, he had a boy who took out the trash once a week. easy. i dont´think about trash too much, so i just tossed wherever pac had tossed the last bag. well, on sunday i found that no one was going to take our trash. i found out bc a neighbor complained about the smell (did i mention that the ¨other side of way¨where we had been tossing the bags, is actually the wall of another apt, and that it, coincidentally, is also underneath their kitchen window?).

so i find out that we have to get up around 6am and take the trash to the street where there are a few small trash cans. screw that, i am taking it the next time i walk down the stairs, right?

wrong. 6am is before the street sweepers come through (these are people not machines) and clean up all the crap that people just toss on the ground. and believe me, no one uses trash cans. the ground is a trash can.

thus, we have to sneak out our trash early in the morning, while it is still dark, so that no one sees us. i dont know if this is really the only way, but i think this is funny.

ya, me too. i also feel like the last story just kind of died. i am losing motivation after the first one. i mean, it was pretty funny.

hence, the last one will be postponed. enjoy your day and now, think about where your trash goes. how funny is it that i have to sneak mine out? one more funny thing, one more reality.