maybe it is because i am nostalgic, or because i just went there again today, but why not mention the fun and ¨customer service is our top priority¨ people at the school library. so as i do every two weeks, i went to the library to renew the books i use to teach my courses. this time i flaked and went a day late. gasp. the horror. my books are overdue by one day. if there were alarms they would have gone off. had the guards known, i might have been shot. if i wore my invisible fence collar like the order obedient pups around here, i would have been yelping and whining as i scampered to the door and begged the owners to give me just one more chance.

as i am passive-aggressively trying to push the limits of the librarians´ fanatical adherence to policy, i strolled in today around noon, the time of day when the sun had reached charring temperature (think: self-cleaning oven temperature) and its glare was forcing me to squint as i offered my greetings to the other fellow fools who patronize this bane of book aficionados run by our resident commandante, señora satan. well, let me just tell you the pillars nearly toppled over and the walls, almost, came crumbling down as the ardent young man behind the refrigerator door realized, you knew this was coming, my books were a day late.

a whole day late. 24 hours past due. a lifetime for certain bugs, about a week for canines and an eternity for mr or ms slug.

one full day. the differnce between five and six. an amount so significant that i feel no more need to continue describing it.

well, the look i got, let me tell you. in any language it simply screamed disappointment, exasperation, and the tension was palpable as he mutterd something about today being the 26th, NOT the 25th. i atttempted to be as surprised, shocked and dismayed as he was. i checked my wrist for the watch i have not worn in seven years. i looked to the sky for a divine calender to suddenly penetrate the ceiling and burn a fiery 2-6, WEDNESDAY in the air. i even tried to empathize with the boy, expressing that indeed it was certainly a pity that someone would bring a book back late. i mean, goodness, rules are rules and those who do not obey the rules, well, clearly they were raised by philistines and deserve to be sent to bed without dessert (i would have said dinner here, but i remember the wretched food my step-witch used to make and realize that this might be more blessing than punishment). the gaul. the audacity. the arrogance.

after about 10 seconds we both realized i was not going to do anything but stand there and wait for him to say something and that he needed to speak to someone else because this type of blatant insurrection will not, by zeus, stand in any building clearly consecrated in memory of the father of a democratic méxico, benito juarez (i tell you, the picture history book has really done wonders for my understanding of méxicano culture), and protected by the great guardians with the ak-47s.

i watched as our young friend casually made his way over the ogre (times like these really make the point clear that he is used to living in the freezer all day while the rest of the peons suffer in the heat) for a discussion that was sure to bring censure, reprobation and possibly a visit to the guardhouse down upon me.

the verdict came back: if i EVER let this happen again... i will have to talk to the librarian myself. well, i actually look forward to all climate-controlled encounters at this point, so we will just see whether profe davis returns his books by november 9th.

he told me four times they were due on the 9th. to be fair the third time he said 9th i repeated 19th. the look on his face was completely worth no matter how ignorant he now thinks i am (nueve and diez y nueve really are kind of similar) regarding his native lengua. i contained my laughter only as far as the first of the two sets of doors (why two? i can only imagine to ensure that the artic temperatures inside remain inside) leaving the pair of young coeds who entered as i left quite perplexed as to what could possibly be funny about the prison camp whose gates lay just ahead.