24 July 2008
i was bummed the other day to see that i was listed as an out of state resident for virginia tech. so, i consulted my sis and with her advice i wrote to the school, they re-evaluated the application and, believe it or not, granted me in-state tuition. i have to admit i was definitely sad at having to pay around 16-17000 bucks over the first year and possibly the second. at least this way the tuition is about cut in half. relief.
Having to choose what is left behind creates many more challenges than what to take. I see that superficially this is a semantic game. Each idea could mean the same thing. Both situations require something to be left, but there is a subtler force at work. When deciding what to take, you look for essentials. This clearly depends on the trip and of course the person. Vacations may seem simple and clear, but what happens when you are like many of the people I have known over the past few years who are on extended stays. My friends mike and sam, who I hung out with and spent Christmas day with on the side of an active volcano, were on a vacation, but theirs was a 12 month stint. Round the world ticket, 12 months to use it. True, they spent about 6 months in Australia, but when we met them, in month 11 of 12, they were down to one backpack each. Not some giant pack people hiking the Appalachian trail use, but a book bag size pack. True they were each jammed, but damn. If you have ever taken a two week vacation (or longer), you know that when you get back things are a bit different and you are usually somewhat content to be home. Now picture that feeling on a scale immensely larger. Where is your home? Do you have any of the same clothes you started out with? Chances are the only constants are your camera (maybe) and pack.
For mike and sam, they had nothing original when they made that final flight back to England. I know bc I saw them the night before they left mexico- they and karla and I went to dinner. It was strange when karla and I descended the tunnel into the metro station and they were going to walk a bit and then head back to the hotel. When you take leave of someone in a public space, it is quite different from leaving someone in an apt or house and taking a cab from there (or getting in your car and driving away never to see them again). When was the last time you knew you were seeing someone for the last time? Coworkers (students) come and go. But chances are for most of you your friends are your friends. You know them and even if they move away, you will see them again. I have made a kind of profession of having to say goodbye to people I will never see again. College is crap, so I will throw that out. San fran, I lost a lot. Yes, I hope to see many of them again, like hulia, kristanovich, some of the boys from the mill, but in general, the vast majority are gone. Three years after grad school and where do I stand. My last email to anyone in or around flagstaff was almost two years ago. Cuban b, jam, j-rod, a few others I hope to see again, but most I will never cross paths with again. Undoubtedly I am not alone in this, and most of the people reading this have an idea what I am describing, but imagine giving up your best friends, on average, every two years. Why would you do that?
Which brings me back to the original question. What do you leave behind? How many memories, weekends, trips, promises, will you simply not pack with you? If you could perhaps you would include them all, but realistically, you know damn well you cannot. Who do you cut? Why? How do you justify it to yourself, or do you simply let them fade away and hope you either gave them the wrong email address or simply never will write you. Is there any way to make yourself stop feeling like a bastard? And girlfriends or boyfriends that get left behind? Shit. I must say though that it seems to be easier being the one leaving than the one staying. All those little reminders that stay in a place long after you leave it: restaurants, common friends, even simple things like streets you used to travel to get their house, signs or commercials you used to laugh at. They don’t change. So you have to. Or become, I imagine, incredibly thick skinned. Either way, it sounds fucking horrible.
Books and clothes are the first on my cut list. Some of the clothes I came down here with I simply wore out. Washing by hand every week took its toll on shits, underwear, socks, and even pants. The seems just give out eventually from overuse. This is why normal people have a clothes rotation greater than two pairs of pants, seven shirts, seven pair of socks and underwear, etc. but then when you get beyond that number, how do you carry it around with you when you leave? Without a car, what do you do? If you cannot carry it for a minimum of 200 yards, then you are fucked my friend. Start junking shit. Clock radio you bought six months before? Gone. A book you bought, thought you might read, never did, and weighs half a pound? Out (times 10). You literally will get to the point of: okay, I know I will need deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo and soap where I am going, but do I have take with me what I have or can I just wait and buy it when I get there (will that make my first stop a drugstore or will I simply smell for a day or so)? You start to spend long amounts of time simple staring at your belongings, cataloguing. Those three shirts- Sergio, raul, or chucho. Those pants, Emilio. The sports coat clark gave you- return it.
It says a lot about you what you are willing to shed. How important is a book to you? If you are like, you just do not even buy things for yourself anymore. I will see about 10 people over the next few months that I have not seen in quite a while and I would like to bring them all gifts, but how? I have already bought another suitcase and will now have three checked and one carry on- over the limit and probably 50 bucks in fees (damn the new airline regulations), but what else can I do? Give away gifts I bought, in some cases, 8 months ago? So you start to weigh the worth of your belongings. What value does it have? Not only that, but what value will it have in 2 years when you may pick up and do it all over again?
Ultimately, you look around your apartment and realize that maybe 15% of what you see will be with you in two weeks (if you are me you do anyway). How do you justify what gets tossed? Little things like a mug I took from sanbornes restaurant holds as much value to me as a postcard I bought in Guanajuato, but only one of them will be making the voyage to Virginia. how many times have I already done this in other places? I have had 21 roommates over the last 15 years. And, two years ago, I had still had 21. that is a lot of damn people. The last time I wrote or heard from a single one of them not named jimza? Well over a year and a half. The last time I heard from one before that? Three years or more.
How do you keep count of these things? When you add it all up and settle the account, what do you do with the paper? I guess if it comes down to carrying it or shredding, then pass the matches.
For mike and sam, they had nothing original when they made that final flight back to England. I know bc I saw them the night before they left mexico- they and karla and I went to dinner. It was strange when karla and I descended the tunnel into the metro station and they were going to walk a bit and then head back to the hotel. When you take leave of someone in a public space, it is quite different from leaving someone in an apt or house and taking a cab from there (or getting in your car and driving away never to see them again). When was the last time you knew you were seeing someone for the last time? Coworkers (students) come and go. But chances are for most of you your friends are your friends. You know them and even if they move away, you will see them again. I have made a kind of profession of having to say goodbye to people I will never see again. College is crap, so I will throw that out. San fran, I lost a lot. Yes, I hope to see many of them again, like hulia, kristanovich, some of the boys from the mill, but in general, the vast majority are gone. Three years after grad school and where do I stand. My last email to anyone in or around flagstaff was almost two years ago. Cuban b, jam, j-rod, a few others I hope to see again, but most I will never cross paths with again. Undoubtedly I am not alone in this, and most of the people reading this have an idea what I am describing, but imagine giving up your best friends, on average, every two years. Why would you do that?
Which brings me back to the original question. What do you leave behind? How many memories, weekends, trips, promises, will you simply not pack with you? If you could perhaps you would include them all, but realistically, you know damn well you cannot. Who do you cut? Why? How do you justify it to yourself, or do you simply let them fade away and hope you either gave them the wrong email address or simply never will write you. Is there any way to make yourself stop feeling like a bastard? And girlfriends or boyfriends that get left behind? Shit. I must say though that it seems to be easier being the one leaving than the one staying. All those little reminders that stay in a place long after you leave it: restaurants, common friends, even simple things like streets you used to travel to get their house, signs or commercials you used to laugh at. They don’t change. So you have to. Or become, I imagine, incredibly thick skinned. Either way, it sounds fucking horrible.
Books and clothes are the first on my cut list. Some of the clothes I came down here with I simply wore out. Washing by hand every week took its toll on shits, underwear, socks, and even pants. The seems just give out eventually from overuse. This is why normal people have a clothes rotation greater than two pairs of pants, seven shirts, seven pair of socks and underwear, etc. but then when you get beyond that number, how do you carry it around with you when you leave? Without a car, what do you do? If you cannot carry it for a minimum of 200 yards, then you are fucked my friend. Start junking shit. Clock radio you bought six months before? Gone. A book you bought, thought you might read, never did, and weighs half a pound? Out (times 10). You literally will get to the point of: okay, I know I will need deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo and soap where I am going, but do I have take with me what I have or can I just wait and buy it when I get there (will that make my first stop a drugstore or will I simply smell for a day or so)? You start to spend long amounts of time simple staring at your belongings, cataloguing. Those three shirts- Sergio, raul, or chucho. Those pants, Emilio. The sports coat clark gave you- return it.
It says a lot about you what you are willing to shed. How important is a book to you? If you are like, you just do not even buy things for yourself anymore. I will see about 10 people over the next few months that I have not seen in quite a while and I would like to bring them all gifts, but how? I have already bought another suitcase and will now have three checked and one carry on- over the limit and probably 50 bucks in fees (damn the new airline regulations), but what else can I do? Give away gifts I bought, in some cases, 8 months ago? So you start to weigh the worth of your belongings. What value does it have? Not only that, but what value will it have in 2 years when you may pick up and do it all over again?
Ultimately, you look around your apartment and realize that maybe 15% of what you see will be with you in two weeks (if you are me you do anyway). How do you justify what gets tossed? Little things like a mug I took from sanbornes restaurant holds as much value to me as a postcard I bought in Guanajuato, but only one of them will be making the voyage to Virginia. how many times have I already done this in other places? I have had 21 roommates over the last 15 years. And, two years ago, I had still had 21. that is a lot of damn people. The last time I wrote or heard from a single one of them not named jimza? Well over a year and a half. The last time I heard from one before that? Three years or more.
How do you keep count of these things? When you add it all up and settle the account, what do you do with the paper? I guess if it comes down to carrying it or shredding, then pass the matches.
back from vacation. great trip actually. i went to taxco (biggest silver mines in the americas), then zihuatanejo (beach), then uruapan (colonial town in the mountains) and morelia. lot of fun, and i visited another (inactive) volcano and saw a destroyed town. the volcano exploded about 60 years ago, burying the entire town in lava (the people got out). crazy thing is that in the middle of the lava sea is a church. 16th century cathedral survived (in part). it is wild to see miles of lava and then sticking out of the middle is 16th century architecture. i will try to get some picks up soon.
on another note, i wrote a few journal type entries which i will now add. might interest you, might not.
on another note, i wrote a few journal type entries which i will now add. might interest you, might not.
Have you ever given up on something you felt would have made the biggest difference in your life? Have you ever begun something and then pulled out without the finality you thought you would find? Did it burn? Or, did you simply accept it and see the new challenge involved in the unexpected change?
Leaving a country is not like leaving a town or a state. I know this sounds pedantic, and I apologize, but reflection is key. You buy a new car or a house, and undoubtedly you start to examine what led to that event. What changed in you to make this a necessity (we must careful when we confuse wants and needs)? Or was it spur of the moment? I know the latter quite well, but I think I am in denial about the former.
Quitting a country is like nothing I can easily compare. Your friends are different. Sure, most speak another language, but their world view is one you cannot truly comprehend. Empathize is what people tell you when confronted with a new world, whether it be a new economic circle or simply a new town. Has it worked for you? I find it a lie. You cannot truly put yourself in their shoes (my sister who is a psychologist might agree with me), so all you can do is attempt to understand. But you will fail. Sad but true. By definition, it is not your world you are relating to, so what within you makes it possible? Compassion is a common response. I have learned a thing or two about displacement and fitting in; hell, we all have. But there comes a time when you say, this ain’t my scene and it never will be. If it is a party, you walk the fuck out. If it is a place that does not quite fit, you accept it and leave. But what if you try to adapt? What if you try, succeed to an extent, then leave? Do you feel a sense of self-betrayal? Or do you ignore that feeling and concentrate on the future unknown? I would argue that even if you are going back to a place you know, that place is unknown, un lugar desconocido. You have a memory of it, but that is not present reality. You thought, but that thought is now outdated. You might end up right back where you started.
I know the
So why did y’all stay? Why did none of you decide to quit the us and go somewhere else to ride out the storm? Did you see the storm as the eye of Jupiter? Yes, it has lasted for over 60 years, but did they tell you it is now clearing up? We have called it Cyclops for so long we might not recognize it if we were transported to the future in a hundred years and heard others discussing it. Is the us the same way. Empires are destined to fall is cliché. Clichés are accidents at first however. They spell out what we all know too well and are therefore easily dismissed as pedestrian. The Japanese effectively concurred the Chinese. Would we have seen the revival of china so easily? The Arabic and jewish nations have long heralded the coming of a new world order (no slight to george bush senior in my stealing of his phrase). Do you believe in it? Which?
Those famous ex-pats are all dead. And I am returning home. How long will home offer me the sustenance I apparently am after? Friendships span border lines; that y’all have shown me. I can reciprocate, but will that be enough to bridge the gaps we now find? What borders have been crossed that cannot be retread?
08 July 2008
although i have not heard back from scotland, i wanted to do more checking on costs, and found some very bad news.
it appears that with tuition and fees, plus living, i would be running around 34000 bucks a year. that is a conservative estimate. it seems all that time i have spent thinking about it was not worth it. no way in hell i can afford that. i could not afford it for one year, much less two. oh well. looks like i will be virginia bound for the next two years. i am not disappointed so much as sad that the dollar is so weak compared to the pound. the good news is that funding for phd's is much better- more grants and such.
i guess i'm coming home.
it appears that with tuition and fees, plus living, i would be running around 34000 bucks a year. that is a conservative estimate. it seems all that time i have spent thinking about it was not worth it. no way in hell i can afford that. i could not afford it for one year, much less two. oh well. looks like i will be virginia bound for the next two years. i am not disappointed so much as sad that the dollar is so weak compared to the pound. the good news is that funding for phd's is much better- more grants and such.
i guess i'm coming home.
still no word from scotland.
what would you do in my place if you were to get in? would you spend more money to go to the uk or stay in va for two years, get a master's and then go somewhere else, possibly scotland, for a phd? i am still up in the air. i want to go to scotland but money is a factor. i could just say screw it, go deep in debt and attend a school with an amazing reputation worldwide and one of the best schools in the field i want to study. if i go, there is the strong likelihood that i would stay and do a phd (in fact, if i did not stay in scotland, i would probably look for another phd program in europe). of course, once there, there is also the strong chance of me winning scholarships for the coming years.
in the end, five-six years down the road, i can definitely see myself teaching in europe somewhere. there are a few scandanavian schools that offer one year exchanges with schools in europe and from there i could get a foothold and scout a teaching position. or, i could stay in scotland or england. or, i could go to holland (there are a few schools there as well). the benefit of europe is their focus (generally) on theoritical issues, while the us school of thought is more pragmatic. i really dig theory, but maybe having a few years of the american school and then going to europe could also be good. i see advantages to both decisions. of course, deep down, i would love to go to edinburgh as it is such an incredible school and offers me the chance to keep moving (forward). also, the access to europe i would have is also a huge factor.
i have had enough of central america; i am ready (finally) to see europe. i remember five or six years ago having conversations with my sisters, and probably others, about why i did not want to go to europe. my reasons were that i did not have the money for europe (still dont), and that i may as well go to central and south america while i still dont mind sleeping on floors and living in dilapidated environs. what has changed? well, i prefer floors to bug infested beds (damn nicaragua). but, after seeing all of central america (ostensibly), i think i want to see what europe has to offer. as just about everyone and their mama has already seen europe, i wont expound upon things i dont know. simply, i want to go. plus, now that i have started learning french, i realize that, for better or worse, my mind is right to acquire new languages when it was not 15 years ago. thus, it would behoove me to take advantage of this time and go learn by exploring and talking with native speakers. that can, of course, be accomplished in blacksburg va. not saying it cannot. however, it would ideal to practice for a year, then actually go to france on a train.
anyway. rambling thoughts on a dreary, rainy and cold morning here in the valley of kings. 8500ft in altitude, sight of an ancient lake, ringed by 13-18,000 foot mountains and volcanoes, and home to the largest city in the world (i still think it is) at over 25 million people. can you believe a country boy from virginia who grew up on a farm is living here? neither can anyone else.
what would you do in my place if you were to get in? would you spend more money to go to the uk or stay in va for two years, get a master's and then go somewhere else, possibly scotland, for a phd? i am still up in the air. i want to go to scotland but money is a factor. i could just say screw it, go deep in debt and attend a school with an amazing reputation worldwide and one of the best schools in the field i want to study. if i go, there is the strong likelihood that i would stay and do a phd (in fact, if i did not stay in scotland, i would probably look for another phd program in europe). of course, once there, there is also the strong chance of me winning scholarships for the coming years.
in the end, five-six years down the road, i can definitely see myself teaching in europe somewhere. there are a few scandanavian schools that offer one year exchanges with schools in europe and from there i could get a foothold and scout a teaching position. or, i could stay in scotland or england. or, i could go to holland (there are a few schools there as well). the benefit of europe is their focus (generally) on theoritical issues, while the us school of thought is more pragmatic. i really dig theory, but maybe having a few years of the american school and then going to europe could also be good. i see advantages to both decisions. of course, deep down, i would love to go to edinburgh as it is such an incredible school and offers me the chance to keep moving (forward). also, the access to europe i would have is also a huge factor.
i have had enough of central america; i am ready (finally) to see europe. i remember five or six years ago having conversations with my sisters, and probably others, about why i did not want to go to europe. my reasons were that i did not have the money for europe (still dont), and that i may as well go to central and south america while i still dont mind sleeping on floors and living in dilapidated environs. what has changed? well, i prefer floors to bug infested beds (damn nicaragua). but, after seeing all of central america (ostensibly), i think i want to see what europe has to offer. as just about everyone and their mama has already seen europe, i wont expound upon things i dont know. simply, i want to go. plus, now that i have started learning french, i realize that, for better or worse, my mind is right to acquire new languages when it was not 15 years ago. thus, it would behoove me to take advantage of this time and go learn by exploring and talking with native speakers. that can, of course, be accomplished in blacksburg va. not saying it cannot. however, it would ideal to practice for a year, then actually go to france on a train.
anyway. rambling thoughts on a dreary, rainy and cold morning here in the valley of kings. 8500ft in altitude, sight of an ancient lake, ringed by 13-18,000 foot mountains and volcanoes, and home to the largest city in the world (i still think it is) at over 25 million people. can you believe a country boy from virginia who grew up on a farm is living here? neither can anyone else.
07 July 2008
no news on scotland.
i finished war and peace, or the never-ending story, about a week ago. i mean, how can someone read 5-600 pages in a single weekend and be barely over halfway through a book. that is cruel. i blame the author.
of course the book itself is brilliant. the first aspect that struck me was the first person usage. tolstoy is telling the story from his point of view, 50 years after the events. he gives wonderful descriptions of napolean, kutuzov (russian general), of the russian emporer and of the nobility. of course, the peasant class is there, but not really part of the story. they are a tool more than anything. like horses in a way are utilized and often have to die, or suffer some sort of bad accident, so too do these people. you feel bad about it, but then how much thought do we give to animals that died in battles long ago.
so the novel is epic in its scope, but that vision is narrow. 1500 pages, so he could not include everything, but in the end he seemed to stick to what he knows. maybe that is the best idea in general. write about what you know and not some bullshit you cant comprehend.
i just finished reading albert camus's ¨the stranger.¨ have to say i did not really like this book as much (although the last 60 pages of war and peace is an essay- part of the reason why the book is not really a novel- too much non-fictional extrapolating done by a first person author). one thing that interests me though is the use of the guilotine for executions.
is it better than hanging? electric chair? lethal injection? the guilotine seems to me the most efficient of all. the weight of the blade would remove the head in one shot. at the very least there is nothing really to feel (unless some of you know more about this than i do and can tell me i am wrong).
but, it seems more brutal than lethal injection. not sure where i stand on hanging. i do think the electric chair must be absolutely fucking horrible.
when an author writes about the mind of someone who is facing death or long jail time, do you think the author ever feels a twinge, something telling him/her that perhaps that subject should not be written about? superstition. i think i would avoid it entirely. but i dont see myself writing any novels any time soon. shocker.
i finished war and peace, or the never-ending story, about a week ago. i mean, how can someone read 5-600 pages in a single weekend and be barely over halfway through a book. that is cruel. i blame the author.
of course the book itself is brilliant. the first aspect that struck me was the first person usage. tolstoy is telling the story from his point of view, 50 years after the events. he gives wonderful descriptions of napolean, kutuzov (russian general), of the russian emporer and of the nobility. of course, the peasant class is there, but not really part of the story. they are a tool more than anything. like horses in a way are utilized and often have to die, or suffer some sort of bad accident, so too do these people. you feel bad about it, but then how much thought do we give to animals that died in battles long ago.
so the novel is epic in its scope, but that vision is narrow. 1500 pages, so he could not include everything, but in the end he seemed to stick to what he knows. maybe that is the best idea in general. write about what you know and not some bullshit you cant comprehend.
i just finished reading albert camus's ¨the stranger.¨ have to say i did not really like this book as much (although the last 60 pages of war and peace is an essay- part of the reason why the book is not really a novel- too much non-fictional extrapolating done by a first person author). one thing that interests me though is the use of the guilotine for executions.
is it better than hanging? electric chair? lethal injection? the guilotine seems to me the most efficient of all. the weight of the blade would remove the head in one shot. at the very least there is nothing really to feel (unless some of you know more about this than i do and can tell me i am wrong).
but, it seems more brutal than lethal injection. not sure where i stand on hanging. i do think the electric chair must be absolutely fucking horrible.
when an author writes about the mind of someone who is facing death or long jail time, do you think the author ever feels a twinge, something telling him/her that perhaps that subject should not be written about? superstition. i think i would avoid it entirely. but i dont see myself writing any novels any time soon. shocker.
30 June 2008
in light of my pending move (although not sure where that will be just yet), i found a highly amusing Mcsweeney's post. the link is here http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/27AlisonRosen.html
or, for the click-challenged, here is, in all their glory, ¨pick up lines to use while moving¨
or, for the click-challenged, here is, in all their glory, ¨pick up lines to use while moving¨
"Nice shoes. Wanna put them in that box over there?"
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because the movers are going to be here soon, so we should put it in bubble wrap."
"Your father must have been a thief, because I can't find the duct tape."
"The word of the day is 'tarp.' What do you say we go back to my place and spread the word?"
"Mind if I put my junk in your box?"
"If this bed's a-rockin' ... maybe it's not worth taking to the new place?"
25 June 2008
i think this guy is my new hero. out of the 34 possibles, i have had only about 10. but, every winter is like a test track. on a side note, i have started a summer beard. never done it before, so not sure if it will last (we are at 2weeks now). will keep you updated.
http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-types/
jim and timmay you will definitely enjoy this page.
http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-types/
jim and timmay you will definitely enjoy this page.
oh jaim (like the mix of jim and jam?), there are many stories explaining why i should not have children. i think put together they also explain why one should never let me even hold a child. that said, if the baby were to stay in a crib and not need to be moved or anything for feeding or cleaning (this is getting less and less likely the more caveats i write), then i am definitely the babysitter of your dreams.
as far as holding children, i have avoided it for most of my life. not that i dislike children, but that i feel that if something is ever going to go horribly wrong, it will be while the child is in my care. fear is the mindkiller (weak dune reference there). i think i have pretty much convinced myself that even holding a child is bad news. what if i drop it? not likely, but what is likely is that the child might start to squirm or move around- what then? do you squeeze? that seems like a very bad idea give how small they are (not that i am competing in any strongman competitions. this year.) i mean, what if the kid kind of, you know, slips out? then you are stuck grasping at (straws) limbs. say you snag the leg, then the upper body flops down and the head jerks- all sorts of bad images conjured up on that one. or if you grab the arm you might break it (although i hear tell baby limbs are might springy, like a sapling).
to be honest, i am not sure how people hold children. it seems like a dangerous game (great short story) or a tender situation (killer ween lick). i think to avoid the stress, i best stay out of it.
that said, i have not decided where i will be this fall. i know i will be coming back to va this summer for a minimum of a few weeks. i would love to get back into kayaking, canoeing, hiking, camping, fishing, etc. va tech would not be a bad choice, but i have to say that scotland is without question my first choice. i think i am done with mexico, but i am not sure i am ready to go back to the states yet.
with that in mind i have a phone interview with a school in panama city. panama, not florida. then maybe one next week with colombia.
timmay, if you still get on this blog, when are you gettin hitched? will it be in steelcountry? hope so. if you can't marry a coal miner's daughter the very least you can do is score a pittsburgian.
germany versus turkey at 145 today. should be a killer game. of course tomorrow's will be better, russia (who stunned holland) versus spain (who finally beat the damn italians after 88 years of trying), but i have a stupid meeting i probably should not skip. i am rooting for turkey today because germany beat portugal who was my favorite of the groups. i am assuming that eurocup 2008 is big in the usa? maybe not a good assumption.
vive la turquie!
as far as holding children, i have avoided it for most of my life. not that i dislike children, but that i feel that if something is ever going to go horribly wrong, it will be while the child is in my care. fear is the mindkiller (weak dune reference there). i think i have pretty much convinced myself that even holding a child is bad news. what if i drop it? not likely, but what is likely is that the child might start to squirm or move around- what then? do you squeeze? that seems like a very bad idea give how small they are (not that i am competing in any strongman competitions. this year.) i mean, what if the kid kind of, you know, slips out? then you are stuck grasping at (straws) limbs. say you snag the leg, then the upper body flops down and the head jerks- all sorts of bad images conjured up on that one. or if you grab the arm you might break it (although i hear tell baby limbs are might springy, like a sapling).
to be honest, i am not sure how people hold children. it seems like a dangerous game (great short story) or a tender situation (killer ween lick). i think to avoid the stress, i best stay out of it.
that said, i have not decided where i will be this fall. i know i will be coming back to va this summer for a minimum of a few weeks. i would love to get back into kayaking, canoeing, hiking, camping, fishing, etc. va tech would not be a bad choice, but i have to say that scotland is without question my first choice. i think i am done with mexico, but i am not sure i am ready to go back to the states yet.
with that in mind i have a phone interview with a school in panama city. panama, not florida. then maybe one next week with colombia.
timmay, if you still get on this blog, when are you gettin hitched? will it be in steelcountry? hope so. if you can't marry a coal miner's daughter the very least you can do is score a pittsburgian.
germany versus turkey at 145 today. should be a killer game. of course tomorrow's will be better, russia (who stunned holland) versus spain (who finally beat the damn italians after 88 years of trying), but i have a stupid meeting i probably should not skip. i am rooting for turkey today because germany beat portugal who was my favorite of the groups. i am assuming that eurocup 2008 is big in the usa? maybe not a good assumption.
vive la turquie!
23 June 2008
i received an e-mail this morning from va tech.
here it is:
here it is:
Hi Will,
I'm so sorry for the delay. Dr. Fuhrman returned your file to me this
morning and has marked it "admit". Congratulations! I will send word
to the graduate school so that they can send you official notification.
Let me know if you have any other questions.
Thanks!
Crystal
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Crystal Harrell, Graduate Coordinator
Virginia Tech
Science and Technology Studies
122 Lane Hall, Mail Code 0247
Blacksburg, VA 24061
(540) 231-7615/(540) 231-7013 (fax)
19 June 2008
no news about grad schools.
but, i think i have made a decision. i was planning on applying to school here where i currently work. there are lots of advantages: free school, get paid while going to school, i know a few of the profs. however, i think i have decided that the negatives are too great: the school is very new and at least two of their teachers just graduated from the same program; they have no international connections (no one outside of mexico is really aware that the program exists); the program is in disarray after almost being dismantled a year ago.
of course the main reason i am thinking of nixing the whole plan is that i am no longer happy where i work. i bitch about it all the time so i wont waste space here doing so, but i am ready to just say fuck it and move on. right now i am looking at some places in south america, but at this point i am open for just about anything. hopefully i will be accepted into one of the programs i applied to, but if not, i will simply wait another year and apply to more schools in the fall.
this is rather a difficult decision for me. one of my best friends here is going to be teaching in the phd program, and he and i were both excited about working together. but, the more i think about it, i dont like all the incest: you cannot simply graduate a bunch of students from a phd program and then give them jobs in the same school. the point, as far as i know, is to get outsiders, fresh blood, into the program. otherwise, you are propagating a system of education that is stagnant because though the students will naturally have tendencies somewhat different than their teachers, their perspective is limited because the program studied and the program to be taught is the same.
at least, this is what i am telling myself. nevertheless, i am nearly positive that universities in the usa do not hire from their phd programs, and this is why there is often great diversity and new ideas. there are probably negatives as well, but today i am seeing the positives.
in general, i feel like i am done with the school where i currently teach. my new boss is absolutely horrible and the new head of the high school is so bad that directors of programs in the high school (humanities, language, etc) are applying for part time teaching jobs in the university and other schools just to get away from her.
sinking ship. and i will be damned if i am the captain.
but, i think i have made a decision. i was planning on applying to school here where i currently work. there are lots of advantages: free school, get paid while going to school, i know a few of the profs. however, i think i have decided that the negatives are too great: the school is very new and at least two of their teachers just graduated from the same program; they have no international connections (no one outside of mexico is really aware that the program exists); the program is in disarray after almost being dismantled a year ago.
of course the main reason i am thinking of nixing the whole plan is that i am no longer happy where i work. i bitch about it all the time so i wont waste space here doing so, but i am ready to just say fuck it and move on. right now i am looking at some places in south america, but at this point i am open for just about anything. hopefully i will be accepted into one of the programs i applied to, but if not, i will simply wait another year and apply to more schools in the fall.
this is rather a difficult decision for me. one of my best friends here is going to be teaching in the phd program, and he and i were both excited about working together. but, the more i think about it, i dont like all the incest: you cannot simply graduate a bunch of students from a phd program and then give them jobs in the same school. the point, as far as i know, is to get outsiders, fresh blood, into the program. otherwise, you are propagating a system of education that is stagnant because though the students will naturally have tendencies somewhat different than their teachers, their perspective is limited because the program studied and the program to be taught is the same.
at least, this is what i am telling myself. nevertheless, i am nearly positive that universities in the usa do not hire from their phd programs, and this is why there is often great diversity and new ideas. there are probably negatives as well, but today i am seeing the positives.
in general, i feel like i am done with the school where i currently teach. my new boss is absolutely horrible and the new head of the high school is so bad that directors of programs in the high school (humanities, language, etc) are applying for part time teaching jobs in the university and other schools just to get away from her.
sinking ship. and i will be damned if i am the captain.
05 June 2008
started french class today. je ne comprends pas. no entiendo. pero ninguno de los otros tampoco entonces todo bien, ¿no?
right.
my class is full of high school and university kids. actually, 4 of the 10 were once my students in english class. i was a little embarrassed at first because i was going to be in class with former students. if you have not been a teacher, i think you can still imagine how this feels. although you realize that you do not know everything (indeed you know next to nothing in the large scheme of things), they do not know this. students see you and their estimation, at first, goes down. good or bad, this is how it is much of the time.
i must say that taking a foreign language with a base of another language is interesting. i am learning french, but with spanish speakers. the two languages are similar, not in any way the same, but it is interesting to hear explanations about the french in spanish. kind of like two classes at once. i highly recommend the experience if any of you have the chance. learning a third language (or fourth or fifth or sixth) through a language that is not your own is interesting. i am not sure if i am explaining this phenomenon very well, but there it is.
on another note, i am trying to catch up on books i somehow never read. last saturday i read ¨the picture of dorian gray¨ by oscar wilde. how did i never read that? it is an unbelievable book (although after the first 70 pages or so it drags for another 30) with all sorts of famous phrases and witticisms. i highly recommend it.
my next project is tolstoy's ¨war and peace¨. again, how did i never read this book? i started it yesterday and have only read 150 pages or so, of the 1500 in the version i have, but it is unbelievable. brilliant writing (the translation by ann dunnigan is superb), great characters, excellent description. i love dostoevsky, and have read five or six of his books, but somehow i overlooked this one. i read anna karenina about 7 years when i first arrived in california and had no job but lived in the house a former relative. i went to the library (internet for jobs) every day during those two months in vallejo, and read numerous books including the aforementioned and ¨the brothers karamazov¨ which i also read again this spring when my sister sent me the book in a package. russian authors are amazing. too bad i do not read russian (and probably never will).
my next project is ¨les miserables¨. again, how have i never read it or even seen the play? my education is wanting. either way, it will be at least 2 weeks, maybe 3 before i finish war and peace, so i have time to find a good english translation. and no smartasses, my french will not be good enough by then to read it is french.
right.
my class is full of high school and university kids. actually, 4 of the 10 were once my students in english class. i was a little embarrassed at first because i was going to be in class with former students. if you have not been a teacher, i think you can still imagine how this feels. although you realize that you do not know everything (indeed you know next to nothing in the large scheme of things), they do not know this. students see you and their estimation, at first, goes down. good or bad, this is how it is much of the time.
i must say that taking a foreign language with a base of another language is interesting. i am learning french, but with spanish speakers. the two languages are similar, not in any way the same, but it is interesting to hear explanations about the french in spanish. kind of like two classes at once. i highly recommend the experience if any of you have the chance. learning a third language (or fourth or fifth or sixth) through a language that is not your own is interesting. i am not sure if i am explaining this phenomenon very well, but there it is.
on another note, i am trying to catch up on books i somehow never read. last saturday i read ¨the picture of dorian gray¨ by oscar wilde. how did i never read that? it is an unbelievable book (although after the first 70 pages or so it drags for another 30) with all sorts of famous phrases and witticisms. i highly recommend it.
my next project is tolstoy's ¨war and peace¨. again, how did i never read this book? i started it yesterday and have only read 150 pages or so, of the 1500 in the version i have, but it is unbelievable. brilliant writing (the translation by ann dunnigan is superb), great characters, excellent description. i love dostoevsky, and have read five or six of his books, but somehow i overlooked this one. i read anna karenina about 7 years when i first arrived in california and had no job but lived in the house a former relative. i went to the library (internet for jobs) every day during those two months in vallejo, and read numerous books including the aforementioned and ¨the brothers karamazov¨ which i also read again this spring when my sister sent me the book in a package. russian authors are amazing. too bad i do not read russian (and probably never will).
my next project is ¨les miserables¨. again, how have i never read it or even seen the play? my education is wanting. either way, it will be at least 2 weeks, maybe 3 before i finish war and peace, so i have time to find a good english translation. and no smartasses, my french will not be good enough by then to read it is french.
04 June 2008
i, like most people, have always been adept at complaining. bitching. whatever name you want to give it. technology has not made bitching any easier, but it has made broadened the audience, which allows a single person to complain to thousands of people without having to spend hours on the phone, in someone else's office, or in other parts of the country.
that said, i emailed vtech again this morning explaining that i had a received an email about financial documents that sounded strange as i had heard no decision regarding my application. well, sure enough, the lady emailed me back within 15 minutes and gave me the news.
i have not been accepted to vtech. of course, i have not been denied admission either. it seems the head of the dept went out of town two weeks ago. and is not expected back for two or three more. right. which would mean that since i applied in april, i would be waiting until the end of june or possibly july to find out. sweet. consider this: i sent an application to scotland yesterday. i am guessing they will be able to give a yes or no before the month is out.
fucked? i think so. the system where you go on vacation for a month without deciding on the status of an application seems more than a little ridiculous. especially if you are the main person deciding whether to accept the candidate or not. if you accept late applications, then accept them and decide on them (i doubt the decision process takes more than a day). if not, then tell people before they throw down 150 bucks getting their scores, transcripts, et al sent in to you.
the secretary claims to be ¨tracking him down¨ in order to find out what the director's thoughts were before he left on his 6 week siesta.
what. the. fuck.
or maybe i am overreacting.
happy happy. joy joy.
that said, i emailed vtech again this morning explaining that i had a received an email about financial documents that sounded strange as i had heard no decision regarding my application. well, sure enough, the lady emailed me back within 15 minutes and gave me the news.
i have not been accepted to vtech. of course, i have not been denied admission either. it seems the head of the dept went out of town two weeks ago. and is not expected back for two or three more. right. which would mean that since i applied in april, i would be waiting until the end of june or possibly july to find out. sweet. consider this: i sent an application to scotland yesterday. i am guessing they will be able to give a yes or no before the month is out.
fucked? i think so. the system where you go on vacation for a month without deciding on the status of an application seems more than a little ridiculous. especially if you are the main person deciding whether to accept the candidate or not. if you accept late applications, then accept them and decide on them (i doubt the decision process takes more than a day). if not, then tell people before they throw down 150 bucks getting their scores, transcripts, et al sent in to you.
the secretary claims to be ¨tracking him down¨ in order to find out what the director's thoughts were before he left on his 6 week siesta.
what. the. fuck.
or maybe i am overreacting.
happy happy. joy joy.
03 June 2008
graduation was last week. i was invited by two programs to attend their graduation party, but as they were the same night, i could only go to one. i chose the smaller group, the international baccalaureate group, and it was probably smart.
first they send out these formal invitations to us. the hotel where the party will take place is in the swankiest part of the city (far from where i live obviously), called el camino real. no reference to the sweet 70's and 80's car/trucks.
i arrive around 20 minutes late and was more than a little surprised. the male students wore suits, not a shock, but the girls were wearing prom dresses. one of them had what looked to be a wedding dress. no joke. i hung out with them, spoke spanish to them (which freaked them out as they had never heard me speak their language before) and met their parents.
yes, parents. this graduation party was paid for by the parents, and attended by parents and other family members. along with the salsa band, this was more of a wedding than a grad party. the teachers had to share two tables (this was actually great as i was not wanting to talk to parents all night), but after i sat down, a professor arrived who i cannot stand. truly dislike her and everything about her. she sat next to me, ignoring the six other open seats. sweet. i spent the next hour and half trying to concentrate on the best food i have eaten in at least 6 months (4 or 5 star hotel and restaurant, so 6 months is really not true at all), while doing all in my power to make some bullshit conversation with this prof. not fun. the band was pretty loud, so not only did i have to speak, but had to pretty much yell. boo.
finally, she left. this was around 1230am. that is when the party truly began. there were bottles of wine, tequila and rum on every table (everything was free, for me at least), but the very few students were drinking. why not? well, they are mostly 18, which is the minimum age here, but they were still accompanied by parents, siblings, at times grandparents. i ended up dancing with a few profs before some of the female students grabbed me and wanted to dance. as you probably know i am a bad dancer, but at the very least it was amusing (i am talking about people forming circles on the dance floor and random students grabbing profs and pulling them to the center to dance with them). i had a great time, but was sweating profusely. reminded me in some ways of oaxaca (except that i was a wearing a jacket, there was air conditioning, and the place was super formal, along with all the attendees).
i wont bore you with the details of the whole night except that i line danced. no joke. guess the song- achy brakey heart. translated into spanish. worse, i was joined by about 45 people, all of whom new all of the steps (admittedly it was basic line dancing, although how i know what more complex line dancing looks like i will never tell). i was the only one uncoordinated to do it correctly (or it seemed like i was anyway). hilarious.
around 4am, when i found a prof with a car to give me a ride home, most of the profs had left, but 3/4 of the students, and their families were still there. no joke. the parents stayed all night. i can not imagine this ever happening in the states. can you?
still no word on tech. jackasses. i am questioning whether i would even go there if i get in now. i applied to scotland, which has a much better school. also, the program at the school where i work now opened. i also was offered a full time job teaching university (which is more prestige, but also a few thousand more dollars a year) and i could be a full time student and still make money. this is definitely tempting. however, i think if scotland offers me a place, and i can get the student loans, i am definitely going there. so many more opportunities over there. also, there is something about going to tech again that seems wrong. not sure how to put my finger on it, but it almost feels like going back. i have never lived in a place again after i left it. of course there are many great things about tech, but today at least, something is telling me it might not be a good idea for me to go back there.
as usual, any comments are appreciated. let me know what you think about it all.
first they send out these formal invitations to us. the hotel where the party will take place is in the swankiest part of the city (far from where i live obviously), called el camino real. no reference to the sweet 70's and 80's car/trucks.
i arrive around 20 minutes late and was more than a little surprised. the male students wore suits, not a shock, but the girls were wearing prom dresses. one of them had what looked to be a wedding dress. no joke. i hung out with them, spoke spanish to them (which freaked them out as they had never heard me speak their language before) and met their parents.
yes, parents. this graduation party was paid for by the parents, and attended by parents and other family members. along with the salsa band, this was more of a wedding than a grad party. the teachers had to share two tables (this was actually great as i was not wanting to talk to parents all night), but after i sat down, a professor arrived who i cannot stand. truly dislike her and everything about her. she sat next to me, ignoring the six other open seats. sweet. i spent the next hour and half trying to concentrate on the best food i have eaten in at least 6 months (4 or 5 star hotel and restaurant, so 6 months is really not true at all), while doing all in my power to make some bullshit conversation with this prof. not fun. the band was pretty loud, so not only did i have to speak, but had to pretty much yell. boo.
finally, she left. this was around 1230am. that is when the party truly began. there were bottles of wine, tequila and rum on every table (everything was free, for me at least), but the very few students were drinking. why not? well, they are mostly 18, which is the minimum age here, but they were still accompanied by parents, siblings, at times grandparents. i ended up dancing with a few profs before some of the female students grabbed me and wanted to dance. as you probably know i am a bad dancer, but at the very least it was amusing (i am talking about people forming circles on the dance floor and random students grabbing profs and pulling them to the center to dance with them). i had a great time, but was sweating profusely. reminded me in some ways of oaxaca (except that i was a wearing a jacket, there was air conditioning, and the place was super formal, along with all the attendees).
i wont bore you with the details of the whole night except that i line danced. no joke. guess the song- achy brakey heart. translated into spanish. worse, i was joined by about 45 people, all of whom new all of the steps (admittedly it was basic line dancing, although how i know what more complex line dancing looks like i will never tell). i was the only one uncoordinated to do it correctly (or it seemed like i was anyway). hilarious.
around 4am, when i found a prof with a car to give me a ride home, most of the profs had left, but 3/4 of the students, and their families were still there. no joke. the parents stayed all night. i can not imagine this ever happening in the states. can you?
still no word on tech. jackasses. i am questioning whether i would even go there if i get in now. i applied to scotland, which has a much better school. also, the program at the school where i work now opened. i also was offered a full time job teaching university (which is more prestige, but also a few thousand more dollars a year) and i could be a full time student and still make money. this is definitely tempting. however, i think if scotland offers me a place, and i can get the student loans, i am definitely going there. so many more opportunities over there. also, there is something about going to tech again that seems wrong. not sure how to put my finger on it, but it almost feels like going back. i have never lived in a place again after i left it. of course there are many great things about tech, but today at least, something is telling me it might not be a good idea for me to go back there.
as usual, any comments are appreciated. let me know what you think about it all.
27 May 2008
just realized that the day i took off, yesterday, was also a holiday for you. ya, that is not that exciting.
no word from the tech secretary. i emailed her last friday, but she never wrote back. i am guessing that she is either a. on vacation; b. down in the mouth about something and thus not wanting to talk to me; c. hating her job and trying to get fired by completely ignoring all emails; d. on a world biking tour; e. questioning her spirituality which is therefore causing her to be absentminded; f. fearful that my .mx email address implies i am mexican which may a. frighten her, b. remind her of a bad childhood experience, c. be a combination of a and b; d. reinforce a latent hatred for all things not usa; e. make her think she needs to learn spanish to communicate with me.
i am guessing there are a lot of other possibilities. feel free to leave a comment if you have any ideas what they might be.
went to a new town this past week. tepoztlan, about 45 minutes away. kind of cool. went hiking up a mountain that had a pyramid at the top dating from about 1000 years ago. i have seen a lot of pyramids now, and must say that although it was somewhat interesting, the view from about 11000 feet was much more so. you would think that living at 8000ft would make it easy to climb another 3000. you would be wrong.
syracuse won the lacrosse championship. i must say i am disappointed as both uva and duke both lost on saturday. could have been an all acc final. turned out being a half acc final four and acc-less final. bummer.
i think i am going to apply to a school in edinburgh, scotland. why not.
no word from the tech secretary. i emailed her last friday, but she never wrote back. i am guessing that she is either a. on vacation; b. down in the mouth about something and thus not wanting to talk to me; c. hating her job and trying to get fired by completely ignoring all emails; d. on a world biking tour; e. questioning her spirituality which is therefore causing her to be absentminded; f. fearful that my .mx email address implies i am mexican which may a. frighten her, b. remind her of a bad childhood experience, c. be a combination of a and b; d. reinforce a latent hatred for all things not usa; e. make her think she needs to learn spanish to communicate with me.
i am guessing there are a lot of other possibilities. feel free to leave a comment if you have any ideas what they might be.
went to a new town this past week. tepoztlan, about 45 minutes away. kind of cool. went hiking up a mountain that had a pyramid at the top dating from about 1000 years ago. i have seen a lot of pyramids now, and must say that although it was somewhat interesting, the view from about 11000 feet was much more so. you would think that living at 8000ft would make it easy to climb another 3000. you would be wrong.
syracuse won the lacrosse championship. i must say i am disappointed as both uva and duke both lost on saturday. could have been an all acc final. turned out being a half acc final four and acc-less final. bummer.
i think i am going to apply to a school in edinburgh, scotland. why not.
23 May 2008
question: you have applied to a school, albeit almost 3 months past the deadline, and after a month of waiting, you still have not heard whether you were accepted or not. do you send an email to the department secretary (with whom you have had contact during the whole process), or do you take her last email, dated april 28 that ¨we have all your information and will let you know as soon as possible¨ as final?
i dont want to be obnoxious or pushy, but i also want to know. a fine line. i think i am going to email her and just see what happens. but feel free to let me know what you think if you read this today.
i dont want to be obnoxious or pushy, but i also want to know. a fine line. i think i am going to email her and just see what happens. but feel free to let me know what you think if you read this today.
13 May 2008
on another note, this site is fairly funny. if you have time to kill, check it out (this IS safe for work).
if th above link does not work, try this: http://colorwar2008.com/submissions/youngnow?page=2
and if you end up posting, please tell me so that i can laugh with (at) you.
if i post, there is not way in hell i am telling any of you.
if th above link does not work, try this: http://colorwar2008.com/submissions/youngnow?page=2
and if you end up posting, please tell me so that i can laugh with (at) you.
if i post, there is not way in hell i am telling any of you.
09 May 2008
funny, to me, story.
a student, and friend of mine, who is in the undergraduate program here where i work
approached me yesterday and asked my advice. my first thought was that he had two girls and was trying to decide how to deal with both or which to stick with or something rather light (well, at least compared to what he told me next).
so, he begins the story by telling me he is working on a group project for a class outside of his major (in his words: ¨me vale¨- translated: he doesn't give a shit about it). the group of 4 kids are friends, to an extent (i doubt how tight they are, but that will come up later). as i imagine everyone at some point has done group work, you know how this dynamic usually plays out. one or two people do all the work while the rest of the group coasts, then puts their names on it. bold strategy considering that the one person who does all the work determines the grade, but laziness is key and most settle for it.
the group divvies up the work between them and a week or so later my buddy, through messenger, sends a message saying his work is done. ok, messenger, as you know, records conversations. i just want to put that out there for future reference in the narrative. he receives no response from his group. days go by and nothing. as this project is about 50% of their final grade, my friend begins to do more work. he continues sending messages, but no one responds to him.
eventually, after about a week or more, he finishes the project. at this point he makes a daring choice. my school has a slogan that translates to: creating entrepreneurs. well, my friend lived up to the billing. he sent the group a message reading:
the project is done. you have 2 options. 1- pay me 75dollars each and i will include your name. 2. pay me nothing, fail the class and pay 800 dollars to take the course again next semester.
the kid is telling me this story and i start laughing. 75 dollars does not seem like much maybe, but down here that is a good deal of money. he stands to make the equivalent of about 500 dollars off these kids. if they take the bait.
two of the three immediately agree and pay him the cash. the third person balks. she claims that 75 is too much and will pay 20. my friend laughs at her and says, ¨ok by me. now this is a three person project.¨
perhaps it was his flippant reaction to her. maybe she just felt like she was getting robbed. maybe she thought that somehow she could swindle my friend. whatever she thought, her next move was, to say the least, decisive.
she makes an appointment with her professor. after crying a bit, she then spills the story. all of it.
as a teacher, i feel i need to interject something here. i think we all know that group work is a joke. rarely do the students actually work together. one person normally does more than the others, and we all know this. in english it is especially easy to see: if the writing is continuous and has a single style, well, one person did it. three kids never write the same, and unless by some miracle they actually sat down together, there is little chance that they seamlessly blended their prose. highly unlikely. what is more likely is that one kid does the group work in english, while another does the project for history, another for science, etc. at least that is how it rolls at this school. i wont generalize and say it always happens this way, but as teachers, we know this is going down. we may not want to recognize it. we may overlook it. but, we know. it. that is how the game is played.
so my friend is busted. but so is the girl. i asked my friend if he and the others were simply going to get together and call the 4th team member a liar. he said no. he had printed the messenger records. he was going to talk to the prof and tell the truth. he did all the work. he therefore sees it as his right to sell partially rights to his project. this kid is looking me in the face, completely amazed. not that he was busted, nor that the girl told on him. he brazenly tells me that he cannot believe anyone (the prof) really gives a shit about this. he is prepared to go tell his teacher that not only does he feel justified, but that the teacher is aware of what is going on and tacitly approves of it. indeed, the prof would probably do what he did if the roles were reversed. i am a fan of john milton and my first thought was a line from ¨paradise lost¨: ¨unabashed the devil stood / and saw how evil goodness was.¨
in some ways my buddy's actions are obviously unethical and flawed. on another level, this is what professionals do every day. not all professionals, i know, but some. in many circles this would be considered quick thinking on his part. he might even get a raise because of it. where i work, this is considered standard operating procedure. the kids do it all the time (i have since asked around). affluent families, somewhat warped morals (although this last part is highly debatable) and a general dearth of positive role models (this is another post) leads to this sort of action. i am not justifying it. nor am i condemning it. this is what happens.
like it or not, we are a business. school is big money. pressure to succeed, get a better job than your peers, outshine your parents or simply pay for yourself/family all have a great impact. capitalism is the chosen route of many modern societies. this is the modern language. if we dont like the results, we have to change the rules. i dont see anyone standing up to go first.
a student, and friend of mine, who is in the undergraduate program here where i work
approached me yesterday and asked my advice. my first thought was that he had two girls and was trying to decide how to deal with both or which to stick with or something rather light (well, at least compared to what he told me next).
so, he begins the story by telling me he is working on a group project for a class outside of his major (in his words: ¨me vale¨- translated: he doesn't give a shit about it). the group of 4 kids are friends, to an extent (i doubt how tight they are, but that will come up later). as i imagine everyone at some point has done group work, you know how this dynamic usually plays out. one or two people do all the work while the rest of the group coasts, then puts their names on it. bold strategy considering that the one person who does all the work determines the grade, but laziness is key and most settle for it.
the group divvies up the work between them and a week or so later my buddy, through messenger, sends a message saying his work is done. ok, messenger, as you know, records conversations. i just want to put that out there for future reference in the narrative. he receives no response from his group. days go by and nothing. as this project is about 50% of their final grade, my friend begins to do more work. he continues sending messages, but no one responds to him.
eventually, after about a week or more, he finishes the project. at this point he makes a daring choice. my school has a slogan that translates to: creating entrepreneurs. well, my friend lived up to the billing. he sent the group a message reading:
the project is done. you have 2 options. 1- pay me 75dollars each and i will include your name. 2. pay me nothing, fail the class and pay 800 dollars to take the course again next semester.
the kid is telling me this story and i start laughing. 75 dollars does not seem like much maybe, but down here that is a good deal of money. he stands to make the equivalent of about 500 dollars off these kids. if they take the bait.
two of the three immediately agree and pay him the cash. the third person balks. she claims that 75 is too much and will pay 20. my friend laughs at her and says, ¨ok by me. now this is a three person project.¨
perhaps it was his flippant reaction to her. maybe she just felt like she was getting robbed. maybe she thought that somehow she could swindle my friend. whatever she thought, her next move was, to say the least, decisive.
she makes an appointment with her professor. after crying a bit, she then spills the story. all of it.
as a teacher, i feel i need to interject something here. i think we all know that group work is a joke. rarely do the students actually work together. one person normally does more than the others, and we all know this. in english it is especially easy to see: if the writing is continuous and has a single style, well, one person did it. three kids never write the same, and unless by some miracle they actually sat down together, there is little chance that they seamlessly blended their prose. highly unlikely. what is more likely is that one kid does the group work in english, while another does the project for history, another for science, etc. at least that is how it rolls at this school. i wont generalize and say it always happens this way, but as teachers, we know this is going down. we may not want to recognize it. we may overlook it. but, we know. it. that is how the game is played.
so my friend is busted. but so is the girl. i asked my friend if he and the others were simply going to get together and call the 4th team member a liar. he said no. he had printed the messenger records. he was going to talk to the prof and tell the truth. he did all the work. he therefore sees it as his right to sell partially rights to his project. this kid is looking me in the face, completely amazed. not that he was busted, nor that the girl told on him. he brazenly tells me that he cannot believe anyone (the prof) really gives a shit about this. he is prepared to go tell his teacher that not only does he feel justified, but that the teacher is aware of what is going on and tacitly approves of it. indeed, the prof would probably do what he did if the roles were reversed. i am a fan of john milton and my first thought was a line from ¨paradise lost¨: ¨unabashed the devil stood / and saw how evil goodness was.¨
in some ways my buddy's actions are obviously unethical and flawed. on another level, this is what professionals do every day. not all professionals, i know, but some. in many circles this would be considered quick thinking on his part. he might even get a raise because of it. where i work, this is considered standard operating procedure. the kids do it all the time (i have since asked around). affluent families, somewhat warped morals (although this last part is highly debatable) and a general dearth of positive role models (this is another post) leads to this sort of action. i am not justifying it. nor am i condemning it. this is what happens.
like it or not, we are a business. school is big money. pressure to succeed, get a better job than your peers, outshine your parents or simply pay for yourself/family all have a great impact. capitalism is the chosen route of many modern societies. this is the modern language. if we dont like the results, we have to change the rules. i dont see anyone standing up to go first.
28 April 2008
less than two weeks until the semester ends for me. this week is a short week, we have a long weekend so only work 3 days. then, next week is the last week and is also only 3 days (of course exams begin on friday). i must say i am ready for the semester to be over. i taught 3 new classes this semester and enjoyed the process, but nearly all my students are seniors, and if you remember the final weeks of your senior year, i am guessing classes are not what you remember.
i went to a baseball game this weekend. fun actually. it rained a bit, but the game was great (a few lead changes and it went 12 innings). the speed of the players and skill is roughly double a, although it is billed as triple a.
this weekend i am going to cuernavaca (a town about 30 minutes from where i live). the place is billed as land of eternal spring- never too hot or too cold (guatemala is also billed the same way). an acquaintance has a house there and two friends of mine and i are going down for a few days. my buddy is finishing up his second book, and i have been working on writing a foreword and am also writing one of the chapters. the idea is that he wants to have different styles, so i am taking a chapter that he wrote and making it into a scene from a film/play. creative writing is not something i have done for a while, and i have never tried to write a scene for a play, especially one that is not really for a play (it is prose) but that needs to at least look like. i have to say that the process is quite fun. i have done a few drafts and after each my friend and i get together and he tells me what he likes and what he does not (in the end the book is his). from there i come up with changes and then we go again. i have not been able to devote as much time to it as i would like, but that is part of the purpose for this weekend.
in the end, i do not see myself putting together a whole book by myself. but, working on a collaborative project is fun and knowing that it will be published is cool (the publisher is the owner of the house where we will be staying this weekend). i think i will leave the creative writing to others as they are better at it than i, but i am intrigued by the idea of writing a kind of introduction to the book. he and i have talked a lot about the book and i have read all the drafts and given lots of feedback. the process is fun in the sense that ideas i come up with he implements into his story (sometimes not always). so now i am going to try and place the book in a larger context and make some connections between genres and how it fits into whatever we are calling literature nowadays (postmodern seems rather done). also, i will be translating my own work into spanish so that the book will have a somewhat broader appeal down here (although the creative part will be only in english).
lots of projects are cooking. we started a philosophy seminar that meets every two weeks and i presented a few weeks ago. my presentation was the basis for an essay i wrote which i then sent to tech with my graduate application. on that note, i spoke to the secretary of the grad school today and she said they are now reviewing my app. i should know within the next two weeks what their decision is. in many ways i am nervous, but i keep reminding myself that if i do not get in, i will apply more places next time and will have more experience with the subject in general. we shall see.
i went to a baseball game this weekend. fun actually. it rained a bit, but the game was great (a few lead changes and it went 12 innings). the speed of the players and skill is roughly double a, although it is billed as triple a.
this weekend i am going to cuernavaca (a town about 30 minutes from where i live). the place is billed as land of eternal spring- never too hot or too cold (guatemala is also billed the same way). an acquaintance has a house there and two friends of mine and i are going down for a few days. my buddy is finishing up his second book, and i have been working on writing a foreword and am also writing one of the chapters. the idea is that he wants to have different styles, so i am taking a chapter that he wrote and making it into a scene from a film/play. creative writing is not something i have done for a while, and i have never tried to write a scene for a play, especially one that is not really for a play (it is prose) but that needs to at least look like. i have to say that the process is quite fun. i have done a few drafts and after each my friend and i get together and he tells me what he likes and what he does not (in the end the book is his). from there i come up with changes and then we go again. i have not been able to devote as much time to it as i would like, but that is part of the purpose for this weekend.
in the end, i do not see myself putting together a whole book by myself. but, working on a collaborative project is fun and knowing that it will be published is cool (the publisher is the owner of the house where we will be staying this weekend). i think i will leave the creative writing to others as they are better at it than i, but i am intrigued by the idea of writing a kind of introduction to the book. he and i have talked a lot about the book and i have read all the drafts and given lots of feedback. the process is fun in the sense that ideas i come up with he implements into his story (sometimes not always). so now i am going to try and place the book in a larger context and make some connections between genres and how it fits into whatever we are calling literature nowadays (postmodern seems rather done). also, i will be translating my own work into spanish so that the book will have a somewhat broader appeal down here (although the creative part will be only in english).
lots of projects are cooking. we started a philosophy seminar that meets every two weeks and i presented a few weeks ago. my presentation was the basis for an essay i wrote which i then sent to tech with my graduate application. on that note, i spoke to the secretary of the grad school today and she said they are now reviewing my app. i should know within the next two weeks what their decision is. in many ways i am nervous, but i keep reminding myself that if i do not get in, i will apply more places next time and will have more experience with the subject in general. we shall see.
23 April 2008
as i am sure y'all have to deal with constant media bombardment regarding the democratic primary season, i will make this comment brief. also, i must admit my only sources of information on the campaign are the new york times, the economist, the wall street journal and an occasional article from the washington post. certainly none of these are unbiased. indeed, i should make a whole post about what is happening at the wall street journal where the chief editor has resigned, thereby paving the way for murdoch and his own ¨supereditor¨ to take over the course of the paper, one of the most respected in the country (if not the most respected), and run it toward a more centric, mainstream media fluff line. disappointing, but what can you expect: i doubt anyone actually thought this newscorp takeover would make the paper ¨better¨ but i doubted it would move from its previously business-first slant with often surprising, though always well-funded, tangents found in its investigative articles.
ok, enough about the wsj. so clinton won by about 10%. the media claim that this is enough to keep her in the race (although i doubt the clinton campaign needs or does listen to what most media outlets purport in this area). is this a bad idea? if obama were such a strong candidate would he have not already put her away? she has lost, months ago, the edge in campaign funding and seems mainly to hold the lead with white-male middle to lower class workers. will this win her the presidency?
to flip it, would obama win the presidency with his currents constituents? are both fucked? is mccain in a better position now that they are both concentrating on each other rather than on him? the general sentiment is that as they battle each other, mccain gains support. really? would someone who was going to vote for clinton or obama switch to repub? doubtful. likewise, are there repubs watching the dems and thinking, oh yeah, i want to vote for one of those two instead? slight.
if anything, the battle keeps interest in the election. in years past we have had somewhere around 50% voter turnout. interest seems paramount.
do i think that the dems will be beat the repubs? no. but, i think that the current situation has nothing to do with it. they will lose because of a fracture; this current situation is not the rupture to which i refer. dems have a very wide range of beliefs, and making them all fit into one candidate will ultimately fail. a third candidate is bound to appear and suck up some of those votes. the repubs have a better ability, at least in recent history, to rally around one individual. my ideas on why this is (religion, group-think mentality) are irrelevant as they are simply opinion. however, i do believe a two party system is bound to screw over lots of people. in recent years it has been the dems. i doubt this will change in the near future.
ok, enough about the wsj. so clinton won by about 10%. the media claim that this is enough to keep her in the race (although i doubt the clinton campaign needs or does listen to what most media outlets purport in this area). is this a bad idea? if obama were such a strong candidate would he have not already put her away? she has lost, months ago, the edge in campaign funding and seems mainly to hold the lead with white-male middle to lower class workers. will this win her the presidency?
to flip it, would obama win the presidency with his currents constituents? are both fucked? is mccain in a better position now that they are both concentrating on each other rather than on him? the general sentiment is that as they battle each other, mccain gains support. really? would someone who was going to vote for clinton or obama switch to repub? doubtful. likewise, are there repubs watching the dems and thinking, oh yeah, i want to vote for one of those two instead? slight.
if anything, the battle keeps interest in the election. in years past we have had somewhere around 50% voter turnout. interest seems paramount.
do i think that the dems will be beat the repubs? no. but, i think that the current situation has nothing to do with it. they will lose because of a fracture; this current situation is not the rupture to which i refer. dems have a very wide range of beliefs, and making them all fit into one candidate will ultimately fail. a third candidate is bound to appear and suck up some of those votes. the repubs have a better ability, at least in recent history, to rally around one individual. my ideas on why this is (religion, group-think mentality) are irrelevant as they are simply opinion. however, i do believe a two party system is bound to screw over lots of people. in recent years it has been the dems. i doubt this will change in the near future.
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