only 6 days remain until i return to the usa. of course, i will only be in the usa for about 2 hours, but hey, it is kind of like going back. amazingly enough, the cheapest distance between two points separated by about 1000 miles is actually about 3000 miles.

a few weeks ago i was looking for the cheapest one-way fares to central america, and i discovered that miami, florida, was the connection that would take off about 100 dollars from my ticket. and instead of flying with a central america airline, i will be flying american airlines to nicaragua next monday morning.

i will spend about 4 days in nicaragua, then start heading back to mexico. one day (max) in honduras- i have friends who lived there and do not speak that highly of it- then maybe two days in el salvador. after that, another 4 days or so in guatemala before the nearly 24 bus ride back from guatemala to mexico city.
i might stop off in southern mexico just to break up the trip a bit, but as i lived there for a year, i am not exactly dying to ¨see the sights¨ necessarily.

then in january i am going to costa rica for a conference. i wont get much chance to be a tourist as the schedule is kind of tight, but it will be cool to see another country. sad to think i have lived down here over 2 years and still only been to 1 other country (guatemala). luckily in the next month i will visit 4 more. at the very least that is exciting.

anybody up there doing anything cool for vacation?

happy birthday to my sis. have a great day!

now, to complain. i really feel i dont bitch enough. ever. doubtless you would agree. selfless, giving, loving, gentle, vulnerable; a rather altruistic person in general. ya, i would say that sums me up quite well.

my beef stems from student evaluations of teachers. giving a 15 or 16 year old a forum to grade a prof seems more than slightly ridiculous. there are 18 questions on this mandatory survey, and some of the questions range from benign: does the teacher use the platform? (blackboard or an internet based system through which we run our courses); to asinine: did the teacher show the real-world relevance of this course? to insulting: did you like the professor?

please. if a kid is failing, what do you think she will do? give you a high mark? or, fail your ass because that is what you are doing to her? honestly, i am not much better when it comes to this kind of thing, so i should not be allowed to take these surveys either, but damn, at least i have a clue about what the questions are really doing. these surveys are used by the department to evaluate profs. kiss. my. ass. if you want to go on the opinion of a 15 year old, be my guest, but understand that in the end the kid is a kid and if the prof follows the rules and does not allow a kid to enter class who is more than 5 minutes late, then the kid will react. is this generalizing? hell yes it is.

the pies de resistance must be the comments section at the bottom where children are encouraged to spout off whatever inane, ludicrous grievance they can think of. sweet.

my first question is where the hell is my evaluation? why is no one asking my opinion of them? why are my thoughts not worth it? to me, this seems to be telling me that i need to grade them based on how i see them. really? ok, then half fail. if those in charge want me to grade based on: did the students use the platform? did they like the subject? were they pleasing to me? then i will certainly evaluate based on such criteria. i dont think this is fair, though. i wont do that, not because i am bigger than this, because clearly i am in no way above that kind of thing, but because i dont see that matching jackassery with more of the same is in any way constructive.

if the above diatribe has not given you a clear picture of who i am, let me share a few choice insights from adoring, captivated audience. ¨he is cold. he should be more open in class and nicer to us.¨ ¨class would be better if he made it more fun.¨ ¨class would be better if he showed more interest in the subject.¨ ¨i dont think the class is relevant to the real world¨(the class is called media and culture where we discuss how media influences and affect the population through advertising, film, television, music and cultural imperialism, etc. right. no real world application. what the fuck does this child know about the world that mtv did not show?)

am i the friend of my students? hell no. i am their teacher, not their buddy. do i want to keep a separation between myself and them? ¿cómo chingados que no, cabron? which is a somewhat impolite way of saying, of course. i dont care if you hate me, but at the very least you should respect me. or, maybe i should start grading based on my own opinion.

dreams supposedly offer us a glimpse into the subconscious mind. not sure i believe that, but at the very least they show us a warped reality that inspires thousands of trite ¨explanation¨ books and dim conversations. this is the latter.

there is an interesting film called ¨the good night,¨ at least that is what i think the english title is. stars danny devito, penelope cruz, the sister from royal tenenbaums whose name i cannot place and some brits. the brits pretty much run the film, so take that as you will. one of the underlying premises of the film is the notion that you can control dreams. lucid dreaming, i believe.

turning the light switch on and off a few times before bed, among other remedies, supposedly allows you a margin of control when you switch off normal thinking patterns and drift off for the night. following this ¨method¨ permits you to introduce into the dream whomever you want and control the actions.

is this not already possible? one could argue that we do already control our dreams and that what occurs, though not necessarily an overt desire, has links to what we want (or in some cases, what we do not). these remedies to give power back seem based on the idea that what we experience (not sure if we can use this word to describe a dream, but we can get to that later)is out of our control in the first place. is that true? do we really have no ability to manipulate dreams?

assuming we do not command what occurs in a dream state, why would we want to do so? is it simply fear of the unknown; some abject desire for power (a manifest destiny as it should and must be ours to control)? often times we fear what we do not understand. few have a clear grasp of the reasons behind ¨terrorism¨ (those in the muslim world who act against the usa, or those in the west who act against the muslim world) and thus both sides in many ways fear each other. would clearer definitions resolve these problems? perhaps.

what is the point of all this? not sure. my dreams recently have been no stranger than any other time (although it would also be difficult to define a ¨normal¨ dream), but i was reading an article the other day about a frenchman, jacques barzun (a rather famous author and former prof a columbia university) who taught and lived for 70 years in new york. he will be 100 this year and in the last 10 years published a book called ¨from dawn to decadence¨ which traces the history of europe and the states from, you guessed it, the renaissance to present. from the title you gather that he claims current society is in a state of decline. isn´t there a reality show based on that idea? according to him, all his dreams recently have been a mix of french and english. he is starting to blend french back into his dreams though he has not lived there for nearly a century. in fact, he resides in san antonio, texas. although not an expert on texas, somehow i doubt it has a barrio called little france.

it has been more than a year since i really payed attention to what language i was speaking or those in my dreams speak. most of it is spanish, and i often find myself explain spanish words to people as a kind of, not exactly translation, but clarification. this is a problem i still face with spanish- i know most of the rules but not all. luckily, i now hear others making mistakes all the time (native speakers), so i realize i am, and have been for a long time, at a point where my vocabulary is fine (although my slang can always improve), but some of the minor rules i miss.

nevertheless, i dreamed last night that i was explaining to two friends, one from the usa and one from here, how to say something in spanish. it did not strike me as odd in the dream that my mexican friend never contradicted me or corrected me. she let me go on with my explanation and even asked for further clarification. did i control that? do i want that? if not, do i really desire that people from here accept my version of their language as the correct, thus forcing them to come to me with questions about their native tongue? maybe.

i have many more questions than answers, but i am rather sure that no matter what i want, subconsciously, there is most likely an excellent reason that i do not make these desires public. so why did i write this?

el popo and la itza as seen from my apt.

this is her boyfriend, ¨el popo.¨ there is a legend about the two, but i will save it for another day. suffice it to say the two volcanoes, el popo is active, are quite close to d.f. they are about 20-30 miles or so from where i live (maybe closer as i am not good at measuring distances). and as you will see in the next pics, both are visible from my apt simply by walking outside.

this is the volcano ¨la itza¨ its name in nuahtuatl is extemely long and i will not spell it right. anyway, if you look at it from left to right, you should be able to see a woman lying down (profile view from the side- her head is the left, then her chest is higher, and down to the feet- like a mummy in a way.

first, yes, that barney is as big as she is. and she can pick it up and carry it around. she is learning english through disney books and videos and barney videos. second, i am pretending to be a bear, and i am not quite sure why there is no fear on her face. clearly, bears are scary.

no, this is not my child. this is alexia natalia, the daughter of my old friend from oaxaca. she is two now, and i saw her for the first time in almost as much time last weekend.

a chilly 33 degrees the other morning. the worst part is probably the shower because the tiles are so cold. and then getting out of the shower and putting on clothes, that is not much fun. having your hair dry in the icy temps is not recommendable either. hot to cold. oaxaca to mex city. i must say i like the cold better but it is damn cold here right now.

so i saw an interesting film the other week called ¨jesus camp.¨ about evangelicals and such, it gave a somewhat objective view of a group of evangelicals based in kansas. i recommend it highly because it is both entertaining and real. this is not a phenomenon consisting of a small group of people. this is millions of us people with more converting each day. at the very least, we need to be aware of it.

then yesterday i saw this piece in the new york times

i recommend reading it (although at 9 pages in a word document it will take a bit of time- not a usa today piece) because it also gives a lot of background information and brings the issue up to date. the republicans are losing support from the evangelicals and this article explains, to an extent, why.

at the very least this article will give you something to chat about.

i have also been reading a fair amount about the upcoming elections in the usa. it is probably all over the news in the us, but imagine if hillary wins. that would mean either a bush or clinton in the white house for 32 consecutive years, starting with the 80´s and bush the father. seems like a monopoly in many ways. does that not seem like a problem? i am not against hillary at all. she would probably be an excellent president, but do we really want to keep the same regime in power? i dare say the last 32 have certainly not been ideal, so why continue the trend? 32 years. that is a long time for a supposedly democratic country to have 2 families in control (though you could argue the limits of that control in the 1980´s) of the nation. if i were obama or edwards, i would make this a point of my campaign. similarly, if i were giuliani or mitt romney, i would definitely be using this against hrc. now, the question remains: is she strong enough to overcome this anyway? it seems more and more likely as the weeks go by.

and speaking of monopolies of power, did you hear about the argentine presidential elections? the current president decided not to run for re-election (they have a max of 2 4-year terms just like us), but remains in power nonetheless. it is interesting because though the president chose not to run, he backed his wife to run, and therefore his entire party, the majority, was behind her. she won. she became the first female president of argentina. and, in 2011 when her term is up, both she and her husband will be eligible for re-election. will they trade years again and eventually retain power for 16 straight years?

freezing. it is.

last night and the night before it was in the 30´s. keep in mind we are describing a country that has almost no indoor heating. people, literally, die when it gets this cold (it is even colder in the mountains) because their homes are not insulated and rely on wood heat to survive (not to mention poor ventilation so that when they do have wood for a fire, the smoke suffocates them).

i am not in this situation. i have blankets and long underwear, so i survive. but, i have been tempted in the last few days to buy a space heater. 8 months out of the year it is useless and would just sit in my house (this is not a grand house. nor a spacious house. nor, indeed, a house. it is a tiny apt without closets, so everything you have is open and out there). my reason for not buying is not so much tied up in this. part of it is the feeling that i can survive this without a heater. part is knowing that in a few days this cold front will push through and i wont freeze at night. part is being a cheapskate. some things never change.

trying to justify this type of purchase seems ludicrous at times. those times are not 540am when i am in the bathroom and the wind comes through the slats in the closed window (the bathroom window is like the windows at beach and lake houses that have little glass panes that ¨close¨ with a lever on the side. ya. they ain´t stopping anything) and the hot water heater is not functioning well and i am feeling the breeze so to speak. at those times, i desperately wish i had already bought the damn heater.

then the afternoon comes, or i am at a friend´s house, who is the same boat, and i imagine making my argument for needing a heater. then i sound stupid. then i feel like a nancy, a sally, a child. no no i tell myself. none of that soft shit. you survived worse. you will get past this minor setback.

this is, for all intents and purposes, machismo. the machista spirit.

i also tell myself one other important thing. cold weather means growing season is fast coming upon us. i am excited for the beard.

yesterday was my sister´s birthday, and oddly enough, she was in a dream i had last night. happy birthday cline!

in the past, mainly for work related but also in college as well, i have written my share of recommendations. they usually involve the key ingredient in all recommendations: embellishment. i think those who read recommendations are well aware of this and read accordingly. lord knows i have written my own share of recommendations, for myself, written by myself, so i know that there is a lot of lying going on. i do think writing your own recommendation is something everyone should try at least once. it will broaden your perspective on who you are, and depending on your self-deception abilities, it might raise you to another level of success (or incompetence as the case may be).

many of my students are applying to places like harvard, princeton, yale, mit, cal tec and other universities that would never have even opened an application from the likes of me. they also need recommenders, clearly, and as i am their sole native english speaking teacher, i get put up on the list for almost all of them. this raises questions (or challenges, depending on how you envision the world). there are a few students who are, let´s say, testing my limits. nothing nice to say? say nothing at all. how do you do that in a recommendation? i have toyed with the idea of simply giving back the rec forms and saying, no. why was i chosen anyway? if you were a student who put little to no effort into a class, would you ask that teacher to write for you? i would not. of course, i am not in high school so i cannot really answer that question fairly.

another problem is that we in the usa are indoctrinated with the importance of these letters and how they can make or break some borderline apps. here? not so much i get the feeling.

so, what do you do?

this is not a rhetorical question. i would like advice. any suggestions?

not sure how much time y´all afford to reading online, but down here there are not many options as magazines from the states and abroad are rather expensive. about a month ago i began reading the economist, for numerous reasons, but mainly because i was looking for information about rupert murdoch´s Newscorp (that´s his company) takeover of Dow Jones & Co. essentially, he bought the rights to the Wall Street Journal. you are probably aware that Newscorp is the parent company of Fox. putting this all together, Fox now has the WSJ on its side, which if nothing else lends incredible amounts of credibility to a station known for its opinionated commentaries. i won t go into my own views of Fox or murdoch, but this news that he bought the WSJ back in july was rather astounding.

first, how many people are actually buying up newspapers? the answer is not many. why not? well, see how i found out about this takeover. online has become, to many, more important than print media. lots of people do not go online to read because they buy the paper instead. however for me down here, and for my students, we simply access the New York Times online because it is far cheaper (read: free) than buying the publication at a store. plus, it saves time and allows for convenient searches. downside? after about a month all content expires for non-subscribers (you pay an online fee to view all content).

in order to avoid this problem, i simply print the articles from these online sites and then have access to them. i will not even go into to how many copyright laws i break on a daily basis here (my students have never actually purchased an actual book: i create ¨readers¨ from online texts and photocopies of books from the library or my own collection (my sister amy bought me some great anthologies this summer when she and i went to bookstores in c-ville).

now that al gore is your nobel prize winner (although not a surprise to many, i was rather shocked), i feel a little bad about the trees i waste printing so many pages of online text. i make myself feel better by telling myself that buying the whole paper or magazine would waste more paper (living by pretexts). on the other hand, i have no real regrets about the copyright infringement part. authors works are, to an extent, public domain. that is, in the majority of the cases, the reason they write: to share with others an idea or experience. the internet has made this sharing all the easier. bravo.

there should be a point here, and maybe i will get to it.

the economist is by all estimations a rather conservative publication. this is why i enjoy it so much. not that i am completely conservative by an stretch, but i appreciate a publication that manages to print the news with no frills and with a clear objective. of course you could argue almost all publications direct themselves to a specific audience and it is almost always obvious. however, the economist, as the name suggests, is concerned with money. money, power´s cousin, makes for interesting reading when it comes to world affairs. what is going on in bahrain? let´s look at the financial implications. i find it refreshing that they manage to make the complex so simple in many ways. this does not mean i always agree with their perspective or even how they report the news, but i know what i am getting.

my dad used to listen to a lot of talk radio when he was on the combine or in the tractor (maybe still does in the truck also), and i thought he was just getting biased information (for a great article, read ¨i agree with me¨ by p j o´rourke http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200407/orourke ). of course he was. so am i. maybe he knew more than i was giving him credit for. hopefully i know more than you might be giving me credit for right now. either way, i am now for biased reporting because it is obvious. very little is hidden or tucked away from the reader/listener/viewer. sure, you may think the side given is insane, but you know where the author/publication stands. i appreciate that.

after feeling sorry myself about the price of international shipping rates for The New Yorker, i finally starting going to the website and printing articles to read. in the end the physical copy is preferred, but why spend all that money when i can get the same articles for free. when i go back to the states, which seems a certainty at any rate, i will order the physical copy of it. until then, i go to www.newyorker.com and read away.

if any of the previously mentioned publications would like to pay me for the above statements (whose bias should be obvious), i take cash and direct deposits.

my 300th entry (of course this includes photos, which is kind of like cheating), so i think i will return to a topic i have often written about here. hair cuts.

in response to my friend´s query, my spanish is pretty good. perfect? definitely not.

in general i hate haircuts. i remember the good ol´days of university and even most of the time in cali and then in arizona (where i fondly remember ¨kitchen cuts¨ with a pair of school scissors and my hair in a pony tail) when i never needed a ¨professional¨ to cut my hair because it was long and anyone* could do it. *special note: when your barber says, ¨hey, i am gonna grab a beer, do you want one too?¨ say no. and then leave before the barber returns with her or his beer. i learned this lesson back in blacksburg, va when my friend courtface ¨of course i can cut your hair, i cut my sister´s all the time¨ killer was given the sheers and asked to ¨trim¨ a bit (like the use of passive voice to remove any guilt from the true agent-me- and placing all blame on the object). of course she began very well (again, all that is necessary is cutting, evenly, from one side to the other, and as my hair length was at my shoulders in all parts, this did not seem to be difficult to either of us), but as she reached the other side and the 2 to 3 inch difference in length was noticed, i lamented letting her have a beer before beginning (and not asking what number it was- 3, 4, 5?).

once i cut my hair off a few years ago, two actually, i thought it would be good to have short hair. hot climate and short hair= good. well, the problem is that you have to cut it every two months or so or it looks, well, crappé. not only is it a waste of time, but in oaxaca, land of 100 degree daily heat, it was a pain in the ass to find someone open during my lunch break (aka siesta for all businesses).

this all leads me to my last year here in the city. cool weather, lack of stifling humidity and a desire to extend the period between barber visits all had me in the mind of growing my hair longer. i am, as i remember my buddy jimmy describe in college so eloquently, in the awkward stage. not short enough to look dashing, not long enough to be a hippy, just right for ugly.

you would think that getting a haircut would help all of this. you would think a stylist could fix this for me and make life better. well, then start sending your donations because the last time i went to stylist to cut my hair and actually was happy with the result was over 6 years ago in charlottesville in preparation for my sis´s wedding. the experience was different, but the results cannot be denied. i am vain. unfortunately, i am also cheap. this results in me going for the cheapest cut around. so it goes.

last saturday i had made up my mind. scraggly, unkept and in dire need of some form, my hair was beginning to make its own demands. as usual, hair won.

i made my way past the barber shop on my street, site of two butcherings in the past year, and ventured into the previously locked sliding glass door of a one woman salon. my friend told me the woman was good, not perfect, but in my price range. as she later informed me, my frugality (read: cheapness) precluded her from recommending a better stylist (the one she goes to, paid for of course by her mother. would i were so lucky). no matter.

the cut was going well for the most part. she was doing generally what i asked and with help from my friend, who gave instructions also, we were well on our way to making the billy look somewhat respectable (key word: somewhat). there was no blood in sight and i had not stood up and stormed out, so all in all i could not complain.

then we came to the end. she had cut, although not exactly what i wanted, the general idea, as best i can explain it in spanish (although explaining haircuts without a photo is like me explaining the finer points of a petrarchan sonnet to an orangutan). i was pleased more or less.

the next words at first confused me, but i saw that she was actually touching the comb to my sideburns and assumed she was going to thin them out (hook up a fade like jimza back in the day). i told her sure and then could only sit in awe at the audacity of her next move.

instead of moving the electric razor in an upward motion, she touched the cutters to my skin and slid down. gone. an inch above the bottom lobe. vanished.

i think it was my mouth hanging open that tipped her off that she had done something to upset her client. staring at my reflection, and the white patch glowing on one side of my face, i came to a realization of some worth. not since i was 15 years old had i sported the no sideburns look. 14 years give or take. a damn long time. michael jordan was still kicking ass. the braves actually won a championship recently. bill clinton was still first term. alice in chains was awesome and pearl jam was still fairly new on the scene. in other words, i saw myself transported back in time. i find it only barely coincidental that i am teaching h.g. wells the time machine this semester.

my friend immediately began laughing behind me, which the mirror showed her to be in front of me. the lady with the sheers was not sure what to do. well, clearly there was not much to do. get the other side too. damn. unless she can make hair regrow in seconds, there was no real choice.

that first afternoon was unfortunate in that i spent at least 15 minutes dwelling on the past and all the good times my sideburns and i had. the swords. those were weird. the nike swoosh. worse. fat chops, unattractive but fun. the backward burn, the most recent. in all i could not stop looking at myself in the mirror. all i saw was a picture that sits on a desk in my father´s office in virginia from my first year at woodberry. my hair is about the same length and now my sideburns were too.

that first day i rationalized it by saying that in two weeks you would never know they were cut off. excised. ripped away.

but then i realized that i live in mexico and no one down here has known me for more than a year. to them, after 3-4 months of beard in the winter, not having sideburns would not be that strange. a day later the lack of burns was growing on me. i started to like it and two days later i shaved the ¨pre-burns¨ that i was already growing. the decision was made (for me).

so i write to you now as a younger man in many ways. of course, not in any of the ways that count, like age, but you know what i mean. or not.

all in all i am pretty pleased with myself at how well i am taking it. sure, there was the initial rude reaction and being pissed off at the lady. but, i learned a new word, patillas=sideburns, and now have a look i have not sported since the early 90´s. and i can laugh about it now. good times.

pictures will be coming soon.

sweet action. now we are getting somewhere. catholic eh? from the frosty north as well (canada)? i dont think so; we dont trust canadians. jokes. we love canadians. in fact, when in a large crowd of people here i always say i am canadian. takes the tension off being from the states.

catholic. never expect a beard. two names come to mind, but i rule out the second, cuban b, because the first comment mentioned just finding the blog and that would not be the cuban. also, 30 is older than him. now, the other person, would probably be about 30. the catholic part i have no idea.

as i am a registered minister of the universal life church, i often hear people telling me that i can marry them one day (knowing full well that the wife, or husband as is the case, that has yet to be met would never, ever, allow such a thing. i still enjoy the offer, however, and take it as a compliment (deserved or not misses the point). the tasks of men of the cloth are never done.


another phrase struck me as odd. ¨i am as catholic as i am hindu.¨ quite possibly this is leading in the completely wrong direction, and i am pretty sure about that, but that comment makes me think the fiancée is hindu.

also, the clear reference to ween is not one to be missed. lovers of ween are not everywhere in this world. in fact, we are probably the minority.

i just thought of another person while writing all of this that makes more sense than my original idea. time to throw out the hindu wife idea.

do you like my chief inspector morse/ hercule poirot method of detection? i am rather impressed with myself. the hindu thing had me at first. but i am going to go with mr. clean. no hair and a beard? probably a good look. am i right timmay?

if not, i will keep guessing, but another clue or hint would be good.

i will be honest. i have no idea who that last commenter might be. any help?
it was someone who last saw me with long hair. which does not really narrow it down that much as almost anyone who has ever known me has known me with long hair. also, the person is a year older than me and apparently knows me well enough to know that i am having a bday soon. that does narrow it down some, but not enough. then, the person has a job (stop laughing) and a fiancé. now i am lost. my initial reaction was someone from arizona, and that still might be the case. i do like guessing games (although this peaches person never materialized and frustrated me to no end), so if you choose not to reveal your identity, at least give me another hint.

sick. sucks. i hate not being able to breathe through my nose. i decided to come in and give classes today because there is one class i absolutely cannot cancel and it starts at 130, so, i pretty much had little choice. i have been giving a quiz and writing assignment and letting them go after 25 minutes or so. good choice i think. at the very least i give the appearance of them doing something as opposed to just putting a sign on the door that says no class (which apparently also reads: Drop everything in your hands and begin to run screaming through the halls that English class is canceled and you have a free hour). so i opted out of that choice.

boring weekend because i was sick. boo.

i watched ¨breakfast at tiffany´s¨ with my friend this weekend. now, i did not dislike the movie, i will say that. but, my friend liked it much more than me and as she was near tears at the end i was simply hoping Fred (Paul) had truly given up on miss golightly and that he would go find the cat and resume his previous life. no such luck. my favorite part was the library scene where fred and holly are constantly told to be quiet and on the way out holly says that ¨this place isn´t half as much as Tiffany´s¨. i might have to agree, although i have never been to Tiffany´s. libraries are rarely the scene of something exciting (although i used to go the library when i was in grad school in arizona just to sleep in their comfy chairs for a few hours in between classes).

so i now i have seen a movie oft referenced. it is easy to see some of its influence on other films as well. indeed, it is rare to see a strong female character who lives as she pleases during that era (on film at least). paul annoyed me more than anything with his goody twoshoes attitude, but i digress. on the whole, it was not a bad movie (i thought it might be), but only once was there a reference to bernard shaw´s play ¨pygmalion¨(the part where holly´s agent mentioned that it took him an entire year to teach her to speak english properly and he only managed it by first teaching her french) and i thought there would be more than that.

i know. if you wanted movie reviews you would go read something else on the internet. i am done. i blame the cold medicine. and waking up every two hours while trying to sleep. evil children. i told my students it was their fault i was sick. they did not like the idea but were quickly silenced as i told them that any dissent on their part would mean a lower grade on their quizzes. we read a story, ¨the lady or the tiger¨ which has an interesting brand of justice in it so they were writing about justice. i proffered the idea that my getting sick was justice because my students were sick first and so i deserved to share their fate. one rather bright student replied that my version of justice was punishing them because i had to suffer with being sick. while earning her no extra points on the quiz, it did make me feel good to know that someone understands me just a little.

here is to hoping your monday is sicky-free, unlike mine.

rather amazing now that i think about it: i have completed two years in mexico. when i arrived two years ago, things were very different in my life. i imagined spending maybe one year here and then moving on to another country. strange that now i am very happy where i am and in the school (what an incredible difference there is where i live and work now compared to my first year) where i teach and that i am considering being here for a few more years, possibly 3 or more (depending on a phd program here).

two years ago i never would have considered teaching high school again. now, i love the school where i work and actually enjoy teaching high school students. most of this is due to the high academic standards the school has and that most of my students are motivated to learn, but overall i cannot believe i enjoy teaching people this age. strange.

i celebrated my two year anniversary by going to the pharmacy and buying cold medicine and then coming home and going to bed at 9pm because once again i have gotten sick. i would like to blame the 2500 students at the high school where i work for this. things might be different if i worked in an office with only 30 other people. oh well. tough shit. i made my bed.

last night i proctored a toefl exam and i am back again this morning doing the same. sometimes i get frustrated working so much, but knowing i have a lot of debt from grad school to pay off helps motivate me. plus, while giving the exam i can do other things like grade exams and quizzes, plan lessons and write on this bloggy.

i have no idea who reads this thing anymore. i am guessing the cuban b is still around because one of the comments, though nameless, sounded like him referring to bikes and brews. if you are still out there, cheers cuban b. hope your second year in the phd program at iowa goes well for you. jimza is still around also. and my sisters and pops.

this might now be a blog for 6 people. oh well. not like i add very much to it with any frequency anymore. i might compare this to a relationship. in the beginning, when you are still getting to know each other, you want to spend all your time with the other person. find out as much about them as you can and think that there is never enough time in the day or night to fit it all in. just being together for ten minutes (writing 2 sentences in this case) is enough and yet painful in that you know it is not enough.

as the weeks turn into months and then a year or more, you start to slow down. instead of looking to do everything together, you just do it that way. there is no more excitement and you let down your defenses (rambling, boring posts that say nothing but are there to show that i am still here and have some allegiance to the blog) to an extent. but mainly you become more judgmental and find yourself more rude than anything else with the other. you find excuses not hang out (i am too busy to write, i have a life now, etc.), but in those moments when you are doing nothing or waiting for the next thing to begin, you realize that it was all pretext and that the free exists but the inclination does not.

yet we continue in this manner. waiting for the other person to give up (blogger to fail) becomes the new pass time. droll, mundane, time actually seems to slow down because there is no more anticipation and nothing ¨new¨ to come of anything.

or maybe it is just me.

i have never held a job for more than 21 months consecutively. of course i have a long way to go before i break that record, but these are strange things about me. i have now lived in my apartment here in mexico city for almost 12 months. the last time i lived in one apt for 12 months was when i lived with my girlfriend in san francisco. before that was in blacksburg 3 years earlier. is everyone else like this? i have an idea what this says about me but i choose to see the positive side: i like change and avoid the routine for any extended period of time. i will be 29 soon; am i getting too old to be like this? if so, i guess it is too damn bad because i dont see these traits disappearing overnight.

those are my thoughts on this sunny morning here in one of the biggest cities of the world resting in a valley at over 8000ft. i wonder if my 3 year anniversary will show me that i have found a routine. will i be in the same city at the same school? will i be in a phd program? will i be in another country?

i love that these questions will not be answered until i am ready to answer them. there is no predetermined timetable. the plane leaves when i want it to. or i just find another one.

here is yet another foto of the poliforo siqueiros. in the background is the world trade center. the black cylinder on top is a restaurant called felinis. the cool thing is that it slowly rotates in a circle giving a decent view of the city. they have really good cosmopolitans and martinis. i dont drink those, but my friends tell me they are amazing. the negative is that it is super pricey, hence i dont frequent it.

this was taken last week at an event where the 3 on the left were dj´s. iván is from mexico city, ellie and neill, from under the aqueduct fame, are from north carolina, billy is from madison mills, and karla, on my right, is from mexico city. the even was really cool in that they were playing a horror movie upstairs in a huge auditorium and outside there was music and free food (catered by an outstanding seafood restaurant in the city called contramar) and inside downstairs was artwork, mainly photos. the forum itself was designed by an architect whose name escapes me, and the artwork done by one of mexicos most famous artists, siqueiros. a picture of the poliforo siqueiros is above to the left (obviously not the one with the people in it).